Sorry for the long message, but so much has happened.
Four years ago I discovered my OH had being using a cross dressing dating website as nd had hidden ladies underwear that was definitely not mine. When I confronted him, he said he had never met anyone from it and that he was only on it because he was curious and lonely. I did point out that if you're curious, you don't put naked photos on a website saying what you want to do to other men.
I also found out that he had been hiding the fact that he had spent nearly all our savings. He lied about buying a motorbike, always hide how much his cars cost and was happy to give his parents hundreds of pounds without mentioning it first.
He promised not to use the website again and that he would be stupid with money any more.
Needless to say, he has done both. Still using the website daily, and I even found out he had given his ex-girlfriend money, even though we have been married for 17 years. In the meantime, I pay for pretty much anything to do with the kids, he doesn't chip in for clothes, trips, phone bills or presents. Our eldest train ticket to college costs over a £1000 a year and he hasn't even mentioned helping out with the cost.
I'm at the end of my tether but just can't seem to end it. Things are really tense between us, we haven't shared a bed in over 3 years but whenever I try to get things sorted, he just tells me to get things sorted and tell him when to move out, leaving everything to me again.
Please help me find the courage to tell him to go