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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Newly single, nice man at work...how's this supposed to work?

8 replies

balletpanda · 04/01/2020 18:17

I recently broke up with my fiancé after a relationship of 4 years. I'm mid twenties and was relieved to find myself fine afterwards, I actually was surprised but life has been busy and I'm excited for the future.

There is a lovely man at work. He's kind, hard working and physically very good looking. I don't see him much as we are in different departments but we text occasionally about work related things and I got to know him quite well originally as we started at the same time and hit it off over coming from nearby hometowns and similar travels in recent years.

He doesn't know I've broken up with my fiancé so I've never really been able to gauge if he'd be interested. He's definitely single.

So...really I would either have to somehow weave this into the conversation or just tell him. Or just ask him out for a drink myself.

I don't know if I have the strength to do that yet and I worry things would become awkward.

Can anyone shed some light on what they would do in this position? Or what they have done previously?

I'm aware I sound like a silly twelve year old but to be truthful I can't remember what it's like to be on the dating scene and I don't want to make an idiot of myself if he really isn't interested. I'm leaving in July at the end of our year so I could leave it until then.

OP posts:
RLEOM · 04/01/2020 18:48

Whatever you do, don't use anyone as a rebound. Make sure you're fully ready to move on before embarking on another relationship.

FunnyInjury · 04/01/2020 18:58

I'd keep it casual and mention going for a drink sometime. Then he may ask about your status anyway if hes insure.

Cant hurt to ask Smile

Honeyroar · 04/01/2020 19:02

Can you use New Year as an excuse? Wish him a happy new year and say you’re hoping for a new beginning this year now you’re free and single?

TeddyIsaHe · 04/01/2020 19:07

After being engaged and with someone for 4 years why don’t you take some time away from dating? Rebounds rarely end well, and even if you feel absolutely fine now you don’t know how you’ll feel in a few weeks/months whatever.

yorkshirebloke1 · 04/01/2020 20:53

Buy two tickets to an event, text him.

Hi, have two tickets for (insert event) bought them ages ago for me and (insert name of ex fiancé) we have been split up for a while so now have a spare ticket, do you fancy coming with me?

Says it all and only slightly devious.

Coughy4u · 04/01/2020 23:26

My advice is not to go there as its work abd give yourself several months single.

DarkBetty · 04/01/2020 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

balletpanda · 04/01/2020 23:46

This is really helpful thanks. I think definitely leaving it a little while is a good idea and I'll see what happens in a couple of months time

OP posts:
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