Weirdness with 'friend'

[happybutconfused]

I think I know what you are going to tell me but I'm just so confused.

A year ago I had a brief fling with a friend-of-a-friend. It was only a few weeks after my marriage ended and I was in a vulnerable place.
Fling had a time limit as he was emigrating. We had about 8 weeks together, it was great and I was sad when he left. Very sad.
For the last year, we've maintained very frequent text contact. We get on super well and we sent I be able to tell each other anything.

He's been back in the UK about 3 times since he moved and has made a point of making time to see me each time, to go out for meals, drinks out and come round for a cuppa etc. One of our mutual friends commented that he had not even told other people he was back in the uk and apparently people were miffed that he hadn't bothered to get in touch with them.

I would like to point out we have not slept with each other since before he left. We decided to just be friends.
It just seems like it's more than that. There just seems to be this connection and unfortunately, it is making it hard for me to really get invested in anyone else. I'm dating, as is he, and I'm having a great time but no one is 'him'...

I like him. We get on great. Our friendship circles overlap so I don't want to go NC. But it is confusing for me. And I think it is for him too.

He has no plans to move back so it can never really be.

Help me make sense of it, please!

Sounds like you two have a familiar comfort for each other? He reminds you of your new found freedom, he proved there was life beyond marriage for you. You are now part of his homecoming ritual.

When people really want to be together, they are willing to cross continents for the opportunity to breathe the same air.

If neither of you are willing/able to make big changes, then he isn’t the one for you.

Perhaps you need to double check that mutual decision to just be friends? I don’t think you will be able to move on until you do...

I think you should definitely have a conversation with him as to how you feel. I think it does seem as though he has these feelings too as he is prioritising you when he's back in the UK.

Agree with the above poster who mentions that one of you needs to move for it to be long term. In my family, my auntie moved here from America when she married my uncle. They had been in a LDR for 5+ years. They made it work by using Skype a lot and spending a few weeks together here and there when they could. It's possible if you want to make it happen!

Thanks for the input.
I have children and his job is there, so it is almost impossible to make it work. I guess although there are obstacles, you're right in that if we both really wanted it, we'd make it happen. Part of me also thinks I only want him because I can't have him. I'm actually really enjoying single life and don't want anything serious.
Life is hard to navigate at times!