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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Online dating, why has he blocked his profile from me?

30 replies

Fraught1 · 03/01/2020 18:50

I've been chatting with someone on a dating site for over a week now. We met earlier this week for coffee, he seems nice and I agreed to another date. He messaged me and we have plans to see each other Saturday evening.
A couple of days ago I went back on the dating site to answer some other messages, obviously I had another nosey at his profile.

Two minutes later I received a text from him asking if I had been on the dating site. I explained and we chatted about other stuff.

Today I went on to have a nosey and his profile is blocked and deleted! So I am planning to ask him tonight about it but I wondered about going ahead with meeting him now he has done this. I don't know how to explain except it feels a bit odd for him to have done that.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 03/01/2020 18:53

Are you sure you're still meeting him tonight?

Sharkyfan · 03/01/2020 18:53

I’m literally no expert on this - but when he texted asking you if you’d been on the site and then you explained - was he ok with that? Could he have been upset that you were still on the site?

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife · 03/01/2020 19:01

Either hes deleted his profile because hes holding out for a relationship with you (bit scary, bit quick) OR hes mad that you went back on there (none of his business, but scary, bit quick) so hes blocked you

Glitterb · 03/01/2020 19:04

Has he just deleted his profile OP?

Fraught1 · 03/01/2020 19:09

Profile is definitely deleted now. When I first went back on I was blocked, now it is deleted.
Date is tomorrow evening.

He didn't seem upset, we had a long conversation (by text) but nothing made me think he was annoyed or upset.

I guess I'm just extremely wary of meeting up now but I can't explain why.

OP posts:
IdiotInDisguise · 03/01/2020 19:11

Some people take themselves off when they find someone that really interests them. If he is still communicating with you, I think you should meet him, just as usual ensure someone know who he is, what his phone is, where you are going and at what time you are coming back.

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 03/01/2020 19:15

Has he confirmed the date?

MyNewBearTotoro · 03/01/2020 19:18

Are you blocked or has he deleted the profile? If he’s blocked you I’d read that as a red flag but if he’s completely deleted the profile it could be because he likes you and isn’t looking for new matches. If you’ve generally been getting on well I would meet him tomorrow and ask him about it if it’s bothering you.

Fraught1 · 03/01/2020 19:30

I think he has definitely deleted his file, and we are still on for tomorrow. In fact he messaged yesterday to say he was really looking forward to seeing me.

Just seems very presumptuous to delete the profile after one date.

OP posts:
NurseButtercup · 03/01/2020 19:45

Just seems very presumptuous to delete the profile after one date

Perhaps he's decided that regardless of how your date pans out, he's done with online dating?

mamato3lads · 03/01/2020 19:49

Could be a number of reasons. Can he see when you're online on this dating site? He may have seen you active and wondered why....
Or deleted his entire profile...because hes coming to meet you?

Presumably you're talking via text and not just through this site so unless he cancels your date, dont worry about it, I cant see why it would make you wary?

Fraught1 · 03/01/2020 21:47

I suppose I'm wary because I've never been in this position before. I've met a few different men from online dating but none have ever closed their profile.

OP posts:
otterhound · 03/01/2020 21:56

Maybe he is married...

Babyg1995 · 03/01/2020 21:59

I done this when I met dp but was after date 3 as I really liked him .

Windmillwhirl · 03/01/2020 22:01

Perhaps he's decided that regardless of how your date pans out, he's done with online dating?

When I did old I never stayed on a site that long. I routinely deleted my profile as it's too easy to become totally fixated on meeting someone and I didn't want to be like that. I'd go back on after a month or two. It meant it didn't take over my life.

Perhaps he just wants a break from it. It doesn't mean he's going to propose

Laylight · 03/01/2020 22:15

Listen to your instinct

Fraught1 · 03/01/2020 22:16

Well our date is still on for tomorrow night and he seems really keen so we will see.

OP posts:
Indie139 · 04/01/2020 09:39

Guessing he deleted it as he no longer wants to be on the site. With regards to blocking you though, maybe he might be considering reactivating the profile at some point and doesn't want you to be able to see. Maybe just ask if hes still on there and hear what his response is he might say why he did it

tenredthings · 04/01/2020 09:42

He may be married, covering his tracks.

Ruderidinghood · 04/01/2020 11:18

It doesn't always mean a guy is married because he does odd things. "He is married" always seems to be the go to reason on MN. I agree that sometimes that is the case but not always! Maybe he has just deleted you off his list or maybe he has decided only to use other sites, or maybe he just really really likes you. You can ask him tonight.

WardrobeTeddy · 04/01/2020 13:23

I think this is a red herring not a red flag. It could mean anything. So just take the date as it comes and disregard the site and let things unfold as they will.

I’m an introvert and do enjoy and make relationships on online dating. I’m reasonably physically attractive and date guys who like me so I generally don’t need that long on it.

Due to my work routine I tend to have chunks of time off so do it in bursts of a couple weeks, go intense and get lots of contact phone numbers ASAP and try to meet ASAP quickly. I move to offsite communication/meeting quite quickly so I then find the site itself to be s bit draining as it’s the same old faces?

then find I’m all “dated out” and back at work so take my profile off regardless of who I’ve met or my relationship status. And any contacts continue as if we’d met in a bar or something?

JustTurtlesAllTheWayDown · 05/01/2020 16:34

It could mean he's overkeen or it could mean he's just decided to delete his profile.
I did this while I was still having the first few dates with someone. Tbh I find dating a time and energy sink, and didn't really want to spend time answering yet more messages. I find keeping a profile up constantly is just tiring.

RLEOM · 05/01/2020 16:45

I hope the date goes well!

okiedokieme · 05/01/2020 18:27

Personally I didn't delete my profile until after the third date when it was obvious that this was for real whereas I know dp suspended his after we met the first time (should I be flattered?).

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/01/2020 18:45

How would him blocking her on his online dating profile suggest he's married, ffs!

Men can't win here.
Keeps profile active = player, just looking for sex, waste of time
Deletes profile = presumptuous, over-invested, too intense.

What is he supposed to do?

Hope the date goes well OP.