Stay together for the kids

[AngryToast94]

What happens when you realise you've chosen the completely wrong person to have kids with? I cant bare the thought of my kids coming from a broken home or having to share them.
Should we stay together for them?

When people say they’re doing this they usually mean they’ll stay together while the kids are still small, dependent and living at home. Having children won’t keep you together for the rest of your lives, neither should it as explained by lots of people already, so you’ll end up divorcing down the line anyway. The people I know who have been most messed up by their parents splitting up are those who’ve been adults, either having just left for university or older, and they’re faced with the realisation that they and their parents were living a lie.

That can be far more traumatic than being honest when the children are still young that your marriage isn’t doing you or them any favours and parting as amicably as possible.

Thank you for all your responses so far. Just a bit of further info..
We're not married and we rent, so that side of things is easier.
There's no abuse or nastiness, I quite like him as a person, but as a dad and partner we just dont see eye to eye. It's like having a teenage child as well as our two littles.
We have a 2.5yr old and 4 month old both boys so I'm conscious that it could be the chaos that's causing the rift rather than actual feelings.
He doesnt help with the children, doesnt do any housework or pay any Bill's. He just plays xbox. We've had the same conversation about these issues over and over again for 2.5yrs so I'm under no illusion that they will change.
There's no mental health issues either despite the constant xbox playing and refusal to involve himself in family life suggest otherwise - we have been down that route.
I've got a lot to think about. But right now I feel like things would be sooo much easier with one less person to feed and clean up around.

So effectively you pay him for the privilege of being his nanny and housekeeper?

It already seems like a pretty broken setup to be modelling as normal.

I would be worried about it completely breaking you too if you tried to stay in this longer term.

If you get along then I would say yes stay together until the kids are adults. Being a single parent is just so incredibly hard and soul destroying for the entire family. If you hate each other then you have no choice.

My friend did and finally divorced when they were late teens. One of her sons doesn't talk to his dad now and both have terrible memories of their home during their childhood years.

I doubt you'd miss him tbh. Why give your children this role model 24/7.

God no, there is very little positive I imagine could come from staying in a bad relationship for your dc. They will know something isn’t right and it’s an awful way to model a successful relationship for them. My parents split when I was 8. The years before then were awful and tense and I was very aware that they were miserable.

I remember vividly the day my mum told me they were divorcing. I was so relieved and we went on to be so much happier. I had a great childhood as a result and there was nothing ’broken’ about it. I grew up to have a pretty healthy approach to relationships and have a happy marriage, because I learned not to put up with anyone’s bs.

@shamalidacdak it's really not. I love being a single parent. It really depends if your ex is a decent type who wants to be involved with the children, which mine is.