Hi,
I am married and very unhappy. My husband drinks so much, recently he has been buying 12 pack of Carling cans because they were only £8. He must have bought about 6 or 7 packs over the Christmas week. He has always had an issue with drink, often sinking 8 cans on his days off but this is now increasing.
Due to the drink, he spends most of his days off in bed. We have a school aged child, and as he works shifts he is often off in the week when I am working and in a perfect situation, this is ideal as I do not need to find or pay for childcare. My husband thinks it is acceptable to stay in bed all day while our child plays on the tablet or watches tv. I work from home and should not be looking after our child during office hours but I do end up doing this from getting snacks and drinks to helping with dressing him etc. In the summer holidays, I ended up paying for child care at a holiday club as it is not fair for our child to suffer.
The drink is just a scratch on the surface. With drink, comes arguments, silly arguments - recently he tried to tell me that under no circumstances am I to travel to America, ever. America is more dangerous than Russia according to my drunk husband. I want to take our child to Disneyland.
Then there is sex. He thinks he is entitled to two sessions a day. Every day. He needs sex. When we have sex, it is over in a few minutes and this is his argument when I refuse. I often get accused of not loving him in the mornings when I get out of bed to go to the toilet before having sex with him. I am often told to come straight back to bed and to sit on him. No matter if I am ready or not. I am never ready. I get so sore. As I work from home, he will often come into my office, naked and demands sex there and then. If I am on a conference call or busy he walks out and sulks. I sometimes receive text messages while he is in bed (he will text me then ring my mobile so I see the text as my texts are silent and do not always see them come through) demanding I go 'on a break' and have sit on him. I am so done with having sex with him, I could not even tell you the last time we actually had consented loving sex, it is always me giving in to keep the peace.
Then there is our lovely child. Still quite young and if he puts a foot out of place, he gets shouted at quite loudly by my husband. I had to shout at my husband over Christmas to not be so hard on our child. He was coming down the stairs on his bum and husband shouted at him to come down correctly on his feet. Or our child might start singing to a song in the car on the radio, husband will just turn the radio off and tell our child to be quiet.
The above is only a tiny little bit of my life, I really just do not know what to do or where to turn to. I am so happy in our home (rented) and the area I live in that I do not want to give that up, but at the same time I can not live with him any more. I have looked at other houses in the area and their rents are so high now that I am unable to afford them on my own. I can afford the rent on the current property I live in on my own. I also have the added complication on my job, I had a business line installed here for work and if I move, I have to pay to reconnect myself to the office and take unpaid leave until I am connected. Working out of the office is not doable as it is 300 miles away. I feel so trapped and I just do not know what to do.
Thankyou if you have read this far down, didn't realise this would turn into a big message!
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Feeling trapped and not sure how to proceed
seekingfreedom · 03/01/2020 15:31
Oh lord OP.. well done.. sending you good luck and best wishes 
Congratulations OP. The first day of your new happy life which you have always deserved! 
Wow - well done OP.
I've only just seen this post and it was very hard to read.
So glad you got out.
Here's to your new and happy and abuse free life! 
I'm so sorry OP. I went back, please don't feel ashamed by that. Abuse does that to you. You doubt everything, your own thoughts and your own decisions. You know you should leave but the constant abuse has stamped any self esteem and self worth out of you. Please, if nothing else, put money aside each month for when you do have the strength to leave again . I'm 2 years out of it and honestly can't express how much happier I am. Yes I still have the scars and I'm still working on that but my son and I are infinitely better off without the alcoholic bastard. Your post really resonated with me! You're not alone.
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