Question about child maintenance and visitation

[HelpMeDoThisPlease]

Hi all,

I'm hoping someone can help me. My ex and I had an agreement that he would pay me maintenance for the girls to the amount calculated by the child maintenance calculator every month. Well this month he has decided to pay me £200 short. I am now going through the child maintenance agency to get them to deal with it going forwards, but obviously they can't claim this amount back. Is it possible to do so through small claims court? I do have it documented that he is docking the amount (he admitted to it) and an informal parenting agreement that says he pays the calculated amount.

On top of this I have a second issue. He has the kids every other week for 1 night mostly (though this is hit and miss) and sees them also every Saturday. He has since told me that he can't provide cloths etc for them as he is living out of his car while waiting to be able to buy a place, and that when he has them they stay over at his girlfriends. The last time he had them he left the eldest with a broken tooth for 3 days, told her not to brush it, and now I'm having to take her to the dentist as he has neglected to do so.

We don't have a court order for when he has the kids, just an informal agreement between us. I now don't feel comfortable with him having the girls overnight. Legally can I reduce this to just him seeing them on Saturday day times?

Thanks

Yes, let him take you to court for overnight contact. It sounds like it isn’t in the girls best interests to stay overnight so you would be safeguarding them also.

Yes you can do what you want with regards to access until he decides to get a solicitor. The fact he isn't paying the right amount of maintenance will work in your favour.

Yeah I agree. Let him take you to court.

He's also clearly unofficially living at the girlfriends and is using 'living in my car' as an excuse to be a shit dad.

Thank you all so far. Good to know that I can do this. Just feel so bad for my girls that I'm having to do it. They are only young so adore their dad and don't see how shit he is and how he is damaging them. I know that part of this feeling comes from how abusive he was towards me though, and me being scared to displease him.

With regards to small claims court, I know I may loose, but for £35 I feel it's worth it for the principle and him seeing he can't intimidate me if nothing else.

Just an update. My ex is being increasingly unpleasant. I've started a child maintenance claim, but I'm worried he's going to try and do something like take the girls off me, not drop them back etc. I'm seeing a solicitor next week to talk about trying to get a legal agreement for access in place, but until then is there anything he can do? My anxiety is at an all time high (I suffer from generalised anxiety disorder) and I'm trying to work out if he is just trying to push my anxiety buttons or if there is something he is actually going to do.

Thanks

Has he said anything to you that hints he might refuse to bring them home?

He has told me I can't keep the children from him, block him from seeing them, that they are his children too and he has as much right to have them with him as I do. On top of this I know what he's like, especially when he is angry at me not doing what he wants...

I just can't see why he needs my address (he knows where we live to drop and pick the girls up from, but he wants the full formal postal address)

Hi op sorry you are going through this. In all honesty and speaking from experience you may want to lodge a C100 application through the courts for a prohibited steps order. It’s £215. You can do it without legal help should you wish.

Just be mindful that courts want both parents to be involved and will want evidence.

Keep everything so you can prove the issues you’ve had.

Best of luck I know how hard it is but you can get through this x

You need to make this about what is the best interests of the children not you and him - they need a stable lifestyle, a place to sleep and to be safe. If they are staying overnight he will need to know where their GP and dentist is in case of need and have appropriate clothes for them. If nothing is legally agreed you can stop them seeing him, but it sounds to me like you don't mind him seeing them but not staying over as it is not stable, so it needs to be limited to day time only you need to say that to him and suggest when he sorts accomodation it can be reviewed. I would be trying to get the child arrangements order in place as well as this can stipulate residency which could be key for you