Miserable

[Howlongcanthisgoon]

Oh god. I hate being married to dh. He is controlling and unreasonable. Never sees any positive on what I do. Only criticises. Tells me all the things I’m failing to achieve which is true I am failing, but only because I do everything and his to do list is basically nothing (easy to achieve).
I’m so done with it. But he has basically told me he will make my life a living nightmare if I leave and he means it. So I can’t leave. We have 3 kids and I have no family and no friends nearby.

I would think about leaving if I was you. My own husband is a very clever man with a high powered job and he thinks he can control me but I don't let him. He has always tried to make me feel thick etc even though I have had very good jobs and I have trained in accountancy and IT. I made the mistake of being a stay at home mum because I wanted to be there for my children and he loved having me stuck at home waiting on him and making everything in the house perfect. Well I am older and wiser now and I take no shit from him anymore. Don't let him wear you down like my husband has tried to do for years.

Jolieobrein. What was his reaction when you changed how you reacted to his behaviour? What did you do?

Sorry. I replied but I’m not sure it tagged you. Can you see what I asked?

@Howlongcanthisgoon

He got our grown up children to gang up on me because he has also controlled them all their lives and made them get jobs in the law like him. I got my own solicitor and showed him what I would do if he continued to bully me ... I know a lot of secrets about his business that he would not like disclosed.

Him threatening you re leaving is just more bullying. Don’t fall for it, see a solicitor, get copies of all financial information and leave.

You are already living a nightmare so how can he make it worse?

He is controlling you in the only way he can which is by threatening you with what ifs.

Take your time to leave and build up your confidence.
Contact the right agencies such as womans aid, a solicitor and look for housing make sure you have the right things in place to leave so that he cannot damage or sabotage your plans.
You do not have to flee in the night but you do need to remove yourself and your children from this environment.

Also if he is threatening you, keep all texts and emails as evidence

Contact Womens Aid today.
They can help you with a safe exit plan.
0808 2000 247 - or google a more local number as that one is very busy.
Get a plan in place and get away.
You cannot and should not live like this.
It's horrendous for you and your DC.
There are ways out but you will need help if you have no family or friends around.