He's just dumped me!?

[crazycatladi]

So my partner of 2+ years has just dumped me out the blue. Saying things aren't what he wants.. we doesn't want children or marriage and can't see a future with me because I do. He's spoke to friends apparently about out it and he's been feeling like it for a while!

A month or so ago he was saying it will be us one day celebrating our engagement as he'd just been to celebrate his sisters!?

Have no clue what to think.
Absolutely heartbroken

Oh, yes, the ol' 'just speaking' to someone at work and 'just fancied' her. He's cheating. That's why he dumped you. Lucky escape.

I do agree that he's 'kind of' done the right thing in that he's caught feelings for someone else and ended your relationship- it doesn't in anyway change that this must be heartbreaking for you and I'm really sorry your going through this (why is it January seems to be a shit month for relationships!?)

You do deserve better, call in the troops OP, that horrible feeling in your stomach will pass I promise

Thanks everybody! 💕 glad I am not the only that thinks that's like cheating! Heartbroken and lost right now but hey ho will get there!

Love you all x

I used to be good friends with a fireman and his job was very stressful and he ended up cheating on his wife several times

That's because he's an arsehole - not because he's a fireman.

I used to be good friends with a fireman and his job was very stressful and he ended up cheating on his wife several times

That's because he's an arsehole - not because he's a fireman.

This.........

How are you today op xx

Still none the wiser and not having that closure isn't helping, feel numb in all honesty.

He doesn’t want children or marriage. You do. You deserve the things you want in life. He can’t give them to you.

Give yourself time then start dating again.

What would help give you some closure @crazycatladi ? I'm sorry your feeling this way x

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted for a while, I know I will never get closure out of him. I delivered his stuff to him the day after and he's messaged me a few meaningless times where I've just given straight blunt answers.

Not heard from him for almost 2 days then got a message having a go at me because somebody has asked him why he left me for somebody else... funny thing is I hadn't spoken to anybody other than close friends who have nothing to do with him! Must of been something he'd told a friend that's got back to him!

I know I could never get back with him but I just feel lost now.

Hang in there OP

As for him having a go at you, that's really out of order. Actually I would class what he did as an emotional affair. If It's nothing you've said then it looks like one of his friends has come to the same conclusion

Reply... Not me, must be your own loose lips, or hers...

Or he's projecting just because he's feeling guilty...he might not have heard anything it's just his way of fishing to find out what you've said- it's an arsehole move.

Sorry OP, him being a dick about it also must be painful- do you think you can block him? Its difficult because I still think your hoping for the closure or answers you need, but I dont think him contacting you is any good right now?

OP I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’ve been there and know how horrible it feels, so am sending you my thoughts.

I just want to address the idea though that your ex was having an affair. Maybe he was, or maybe he wasn’t, but if what he says is correct and he’d not progressed it beyond having feelings for someone else... this doesn’t mean he cheated on you, it means he met someone for whom his feelings may have taken him by surprise and which then shone a light on his real feelings for your relationship, and this may have acted as a catalyst for him realising he wasn’t actually fully happy/fulfilled in his relationship with you. As painful as this is to experience (the feelings of rejection are awful) it would be just adding additional pain to you to start thinking that him having had fleeting feelings for someone else was him having an affair/being deliberately duplicitous/deliberately treating you cruelly/deceiving you. Because that will only make you feel worse about yourself and lead to you feeling eaten up with anger and betrayal, when actually it’s possible that the relationship just came to an end because your ex wasn’t invested enough in it (perfectly normal) and decided to end it when this was flagged up to him by him realising he had a crush on someone else.

I hope the above waffle makes some kind of sense? Tricky to get across my meaning, but I just want you to not end up feeling any worse about the situation and yourself than is necessary.

Good luck OP, chin up, and there is someone out there who will adore you more than anyone else and will be lucky to find you