Adult son in unhealthy relationship

[GenevieveB]

Hi, my adult son is living with his gf, she is unreasonable about him seeing his friends and not supportive when he was really poorly, he has a condition that has led to hospitalisation several times in the last 18 months.
He has changed and lost confidence in himself and his ability to make decisions, this is so unlike him. I am concerned that she is manipulating him and abusing him emotionally, he’s becoming isolated.
I have spoken to him about this but he didn’t want to talk about it, I’ve said I know about unhealthy relationships I’ve been there, he knows this and has said it himself, I only got out of the last one because I had to keep my kids safe.
I’ve told him he will always have a home with me, I don’t know what else I can do, he’s an adult but I fear for him.
Please can anyone offer some advice
Thank you

Absolutely keep your door open and let him know that.

You can’t do anything more than you’ve already done. Your son hasn’t reached rock bottom yet (if it’s indeed coming). I can sense your hurt and concern as a Mum, but honestly this is his business. Let him know you’re there for him, but he won’t appreciate any interference.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately you can’t do anything until he is ready to understand what has happened. If you push it you risk his gf ruining his relationship with you. Stand by him and be there when he makes his own decision

Op your description of his gf's behavior is very vague. Are you sure you have a clear picture of what is happening?

It is very hard to know from your post....

What about him accessing counselling for himself via gp?

Do not get involved! By all means let him know you are there but try not to comment on it and stay out of it. As you say he's a grown man, this has to be his choice and it doesn't sound like he's moving any time soon.

We had/have a simular relationship in our family, it's ruined relationships with my parents, no matter how hard you try to patch things up once that person knows there's been talk of them or dislike of what they've done it's impossible. There's always two sides too op, I know you are seeing this from your sons side but has he told you all?

I know it's hard but honestly it's the best way to go about this.