Can I record our conversation?

[Recordo]

And if so, how?

Tomorrow, I’m going to ring my on/off partner of 4 years, and end our relationship once and for all.

I want to record what we say because he has a history of denying/twisting/backtracking etc, and making me doubt myself. I want a clear record of what is said, especially with regard to our dc.

Is it legal to record him? And can I do it from my iPhone?

Thank you for any advice.

Legally you have to tell him that you're recording the conversation

It's not admissible in court unless you tell him you're doing it and he consents. It's also not possible directly on an iPhone, but if you google it there are ways round it with apps etc.

You can record but not for public use. I have done this for work meetings before as a way of keeping notes without being tied to my notepad in a meeting plus ensures it accurate and used the video function on my phone. You would need to call from your landline on loud speaker I guess.
It's a good way to close the book and remind yourself that you made a decision and to stick with it - regardless of the blame game.

I don't think you have to tell him if the recording is for your own peace of mind, but you can't use it as evidence in any sort of official capacity, or upload it on social media etc.

You’ll be fine to use it as long as you aren’t hoping to use it for any legal purposes.

Thank you for your replies. So if I tell him I’m doing it, that’s ok? I don’t want to use it for any nefarious (is that the right word?!) reasons, just want a record of what was said. Not what he says was said! Are there free apps I could use? I will google myself but grateful for a heads up!

You don't have to tell him if it is purely for your own use. I'll find you the page I was looking at the other day about this.

Here.

Cube ACR on android is good. If it is only for your own use you can record the conversation.

I presume you know that, soon, you will probably have to have a meeting or at least detailed written communication in order to make arrangements for child contact?

I did not know this was illegal! I recorded an uncle before because he was so vile I wanted to listen back to see if I was overreacting. I've got loads of recordings! Better delete them!

It’s quite inflammatory if your objective is tell him it’s over. I would leave it at that and then invite him to suggest access options in writing. Emails will be a record of his intentions and your response. Tell him the relationship is at an end. That’s it. Don’t go into to the reasons. Then email confirming it over and asking him to suggest access options that you will consider. If he doesn’t reply that’s on him.

A phone negotiation about access after you have dumped him isn’t really something you should pursue.

Thank you very much BitofFun. That’s really helpful.

It isn't illegal and whnether it is missable in court is up to the judge.

Lemon I would prefer to have something in writing but he doesn’t work that way! He’s so slippery and good at rewriting how things have played out. I thought if I could just have a recording (for my own peace of mind) it would be really helpful.

I record work calls using ACR - it's very good.

I have found that recording had allowed me to realise how badly I was being gaslighted. I have been told none of it is admissible in evidence.but it is useful to reassure myself that I didn't imagine it! So it will be useful I think.

Recording won’t change anything, it won’t make him less slippery and it won’t change your mindset.

Work out what your boundaries are, stop letting him overstep those boundaries and repeat.

AgentJohnson don’t you think that’s part of what the OP is trying to achieve with recording, ie working out where the boundaries are, spotting where he tries to push against those boundaries and how to stop him doing this in future? In addition to having an accurate record. Very useful.