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Original poster

Ex back in touch!! But why??!

56 replies

Frankie90 · 02/01/2020 17:51

I have been single 15 months, after a marriage breakdown! I have been quite happy and very busy with my 5 year old son!

Recently an ex from about 15 years ago has got in touch! We didn’t split on bad terms but were quite young! He got married last year. He told me he has always loved me, that I’m his ‘one’, that he’s never been happy with anyone else etc but I haven’t got a clue why he’s telling me that his now?! I’m confused!!

OP posts:
Candyfloss99 · 02/01/2020 23:52

Just ask him is he leaving his wife to see if things will work out with you or what.

Dietsareus · 02/01/2020 23:59

Who knows why he’s doing it? Could be facing his own mortality, could just be a twat fancying his chances. I’d reply how sweet, and then say I wonder if his wife would find it as endearing? I’ve had a few of these types of things happen to me, and I always shut the conversation down like this. I try to imagine how his wife/partner would feel if she found the messages and at least she’d see that I hadn’t responded.

MopsRUs · 03/01/2020 00:10

Why? He is a manipulative chancer. Quite possibly a serial liar too. No other reason. Ignore and run!

ChristmasFluff · 03/01/2020 00:45

You are confused because your heart is like 'WTF!!! User Alert, User Alert!'

And if you are truthful, your heart has already picked up his feelings. Your head knows it is done

MustardScreams · 03/01/2020 02:19

YeH. I’d hold off everything a)because WIFE and b) because he’s probably bullshitting about cancer.

No one should hook up with a liar.

Chocmallows · 03/01/2020 02:26

The cancer will be a removed mole and he'd like to add you to his list of OW. Run.

Stillsexystillsingle · 03/01/2020 07:18

How weird, I have been in this exact same situation, I hope it's not the same guy!!! Supposedly had a cancer diagnosis which focused the mind. Walked out on a wife and young kids and lived in a bedsit off takeaways for a couple of months because he supposedly wanted to be with me. But then, didn't ask me on a date or do anything to move the relationship with me forward except hang around me waiting for me to sleep with him. So weird! Two months later, when I still hadn't slept with him, he moved back in with his wife. So there you go that's a cautionary tale for you!!!

Pinkbonbon · 03/01/2020 07:23

Oh dear, vulnerable narcissist alert!

Screenshot his messages, send them to his wife. Delete and block him on everything.

He's a scumbag.

Loveislandaddict · 03/01/2020 07:29

How would you feel if you were the wife, and found out that your dh was sending lovey dovey messages to an ex? And you are newly married also.

Maybe he has got cancer and is re-assessing his life. However, he chose to marry His wife only a year ago, ie after you became single. He could have refused to marry her, if she wasn’t the one, or he wasn’t sure.

Don’t be the ow. He’s messing with your emotions. Maybe send a ‘sorry to heAr you are ill, “, but leave it at that. Maybe also include a message about his wife. Ie. Sending her your best wishes during this difficult period.

WellErrr · 03/01/2020 07:37

He got married last year. He told me he has always loved me, that I’m his ‘one’, that he’s never been happy with anyone else etc but I haven’t got a clue why he’s telling me that his now?!

Somethings happened in his marriage (kid on the way, wife asked him to pick up his socks etc etc) and he’s just heard you’re single.
He’s looking for a shag and using the oldest lines in the book. And you’re falling for them!

You should have replied ‘aren’t you MARRIED? This is completely inappropriate and disrespectful to me AND her’ and then blocked him.

olllsss · 03/01/2020 07:41

I would be tempted to fuck with him by proclaiming your undying love, sending him links to wedding venues and suggested readings, whilst mentioning you've turned Christian and won't have sex outside marriage... but better to just delete and block.
GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

AgentJohnson · 03/01/2020 07:54

Apparently your ‘morals’ aren’t stopping you shutting down a married man who clearly has a less than honourable agenda. Why are you speculating? How would you feel if your H was communicating with another woman like he is with you.l?

Shut it down and you might want to align your morals with your boundaries because they aren’t on the same page.🤔

Lllot5 · 03/01/2020 07:59

Yep it’s all been said wants a shag tell him to do one.

Grobagsforever · 03/01/2020 08:02

The cancer story probably isn't even true. FFS don't fall for this OP. Think of his wife. Delete and block

Stillsexystillsingle · 03/01/2020 08:05

I can totally understand how as a single mum it's nice to get a bit of attention but honestly some/a lot of married men do this all the time, it doesn't mean you or your relationship is in any way special to him, at best, he's enjoying having a flirt with no intention of taking things any further and at worst he's actively trying to set you up for an affair, either way this isn't really what you want, I'm guessing you want an actual, real relationship, and the longer you seem to be enjoying his advances the longer he will keep this up and the more of a mind f**k this will be come of course it's nice to get attention from a man but you need to be accepting attention from men who are also emotionally available to you and he isn't it

Stillsexystillsingle · 03/01/2020 08:08

If he is actively looking for / having affairs he's not emotionally available to his wife either, but that's her problem not yours

TheUnquestionedAnswer · 03/01/2020 08:10

Don't go there OP. His ship sailed a long time ago. Doesn't matter what reason he gives.

Stillsexystillsingle · 03/01/2020 08:17

Exactly if this was the real thing he would have never left you in the first place, young or not

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/01/2020 08:23

It's easier to have an affair with a single woman.

He might genuinely be ill. He might genuinely have never got over you. But he's a married man and until that changes I wouldn't go anywhere near him.

I have a friend who, when she was 14, lost her virginity to her 18 year old boyfriend because he told her he had terminal cancer and would be dead within 3 months. Funnily enough, he's still alive 10 years later.

littleduckeggblue · 03/01/2020 08:49

He is bored of his marriage and is testing the water! He 100% wants sex and will just use you for a bit of fun.
If his wife isn't the love of his life then why is he with her.
You might be feeling flattered but he is using you.
99% of the people who have replied to you have said the same thing!

Isthisit22 · 03/01/2020 08:55

Wow there seems to be no hope for womankind!
You have just been cheated on and now are happy for a married man to tell you that you're the one he truly loves.
How awful for his poor wife.
Re-think your morals OP

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/01/2020 09:02

What about his wife here in all this?.

Don't be an idiot and fall for such BS, give your head a wobble and work on your boundaries in relationships. The man's targeted you deliberately also because you are a single mother (you're probably lonely as well) and therefore in his eyes so desperate for a man that you would put up with any old shit. He really does think you're that stupid and he really does think that little of you.

MustardScreams · 03/01/2020 09:09

Your ‘morals’ could fit on a postage stamp op. Why are you even considering this? It says a lot about you as a person that you haven’t just blocked him immediately tbh.

AgentJohnson · 03/01/2020 09:37

This is why so many men play these games because there are always women who fall for this type of BS in some misguided attempt to fix other them.

januarysickntiredofyou · 03/01/2020 10:48

It's been 15 years since you knew each other. How can he possibly think you are beautiful inside and out? You are a different person, and so is he. He doesn't even know you.