How do they know?!

[MymbleClement]

I've been married for 13 years. Unhappy for about 5. It's been a slow and soul destroying process (thanks to the name calling/belittling/ridiculous expectations of how the house is and the children behave) but in the past few weeks something has snapped and I've made a decision to at least prepare to separate. I haven't said anything at all yet as I want to shore myself up financially...but all of a sudden he is Mr Nicey Nicey Do they have a sixth sense or what?!

Don’t fall for it, he won’t change it’ll be temporary cos he will sense that you’re seeking separation so he’ll be doing it to confuse you!

My exH was a master of doing just enough, the bare minimum to make me think again and give him another chance. It was always short lived, and never much effort on his part. Don't be fooled.

If it's the kick in the pants he needed, then great. But make sure things don't slide again.

He said something the other day about it just being the two of us when the kids have all moved out and all I felt was dread. There is a lightness to the house when he's not home. I was almost giddy the other day looking at houses and imagining just coming home to the kids, having their friends round, having MY friends and family round without him huffing and puffing. My mind is pretty well made up now. I do find it weird that he's suddenly like this but it won't change my mind.

Have you been googling stuff?

Sure he isn't able to see what you're looking up?

Absolutely sure. I'm very careful.

Having said that since I first posted he has returned to his default state of complete arsehole.

He might have sensed you were shifting beyond his control if he hadn't been checking up on you to know for sure.

Let him think everything is normal until you're ready to act, and then brace for the Mr Wonderful act to commence to con you into changing your mind.

It's an unconscious exchange.