Physical abuse

[hellokitty86]

Hi

I am slightly nervous to post on here, me and my DH have been married for 5 years, we were together for 5 years prior to marriage. Last year our arguments got worse and he physically abused me for the first time, I don't have much family, I speak to my mother now and then.
The arguments started to get worse where he would beat me and force me to have sex with him, I decided this was enough and reported him to the police and left him. I am now living alone elsewhere however somehow he has found out where i live, i think he may have followed me from work. I have informed the police and a restraining order is going to be put in place but i am so scared of leaving my house to do basic things like shopping and go to work.

I am currently looking for a new house to live in however i am so scared that he will find me again. He drove past in the middle of the night the other day and i only noticed as i was going to the bathroom and wondered what the light outside was. I don't know what to do.

the police said there isn't enough evidence for stalking, i wake up in the night due to having bad nightmare about him.

i thought i would be free now however i feel anxious all the time

Well done for leaving, that is a massive thing to have done. I hope you can get the restraining order in place - did the police arrest him? Keep logging his harassment of you, keep reporting it. Do you have any Women's Aid or DV support? WA really helped me.

Sending lots of .

Also, things will get better, it takes time, there are bound to be times when it feels really hard. Focus on how much better it is to live free from his abuse.

thank you, and the arrested him but released him after questioning. The police said i might have a chance of taking him to court for cohesive and controlling behaviour and assault. I have not spoken to womens aid which is something i will do tonight.

it gets really hard as i feel lonely and depressed

OP first well done for getting away. Well done for staying away and I'm sorry you've been through this. I'm sorry the trauma is continuing.

It sounds like you don't have proper help and support here. You need to get in contact with NCDV asap. Explain the situation and ask for advice on a non molestation order 0800 970 2070

Non-Molestation Order

(1) How it protects you.

Usually forbids an abuser from:
Using or threatening physical violence
Intimidating, harassing or pestering
Communicating with you (if appropriate)
Instructing or encouraging others

Typically granted for 6-12 months
Arrest-able offence if breached

Your local DV organisation, which you can find here www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ may have a free legal advice clinic, counselling and can give you advice on how to build a case and stay safe.

You need a safety plan OP
You need appropriate legal advice
You need support such as trauma therapy or counselling

DV services vary but other organisations to look into would be Rape Crisis for trauma counselling 0808 802 9999
Women's Aid for a safety plan and proper advice 0808 2000 247
Rights of Women for free legal advice and direction on how to find a trained solicitor in your area with experience in DV 020 7251 8887
Also perhaps try the Suzy Lamplugh Trust 0808 802 0300 or Paladin for stalking advice and advocacy 020 3866 4107

You need an advocate to shake the police up as you are not being properly protected. You are high risk OP, please reach out for support and advice.

I truly hope that this terrible situation can be resolved. Make sure that all your technology/social media is set so that your location cannot be accessed by others. Get yourself a personal safety alarm and carry it at all times. Please be careful and take care.