Sex after first baby

[Ersr500]

I'm currently breastfeeding my first child who is 4 months old and my husband and i have not had sex since the birth. I just have completely gone off any thoughts of intimacy in the bedroom. I can't bear the thought of him touching me and the idea of sex repels me. I love my husband and have told him i just need time but i feel like my body is not my own and so how can i give myself to him. I'm worried he will get frustrated with me and i don't really know what is wrong with me. Has anyone else had similar feelings?

I didnt have similar feelings but I didn't breastfeed that long for different issues. What I will say is marriage after a baby is hard. Husbands do tend to feel left out. I think it's more the thought of sex - once you actually do the deed You feel better and he feels better.

I dived straight back into sex with my husband within a few weeks of the birth, perhaps even sooner. I wanted to do it to test what had happened to me, so I was completely happy to oblige. It also helped us really bond after the birth and DH felt included in our little family. It was always the three of us, rather than me and DS, with DH on the sideline for a while.
It was right for us and sex has always been a very important part of our relationship.

I can’t presume what’s right for others though, so I would just advise talking to your husband about how you’re feeling and how he is feeling.

To add, I breastfed for about 9 months.

With my first I felt exactly like you (that was with my exH). With my second it has been completely different and we got back to it within 10 days. We have a better sex life than before DS was born.

I think what you're feeling us normal for a first baby

What you are feeling is completely normal op! Whatever you do, don't let yourself feel pressured into having sex before you are ready.

Thank you for your replies.....I think i just need more time to adjust to being a mum and having a different body, i'm just worried the longer i leave it the harder it is to initiate. Our sex life was not that good anyway and sometime felt like a chore but i don't want it to be mon existant!

Just wait until you're ready, even if it's still some more months, and don't put pressure on yourself

I’m 6 months pregnant and have gone through two 8 week (ish) stretches of not wanting to be touched sexually.

DH has been totally supportive and both times patiently waited until it passed with no issue. So much is changing about my body, it’s a lot to process and I fully expect that post birth it’ll take me a little while to get back to it.

Sex is important in a relationship but as long as there is open communication and plenty of non sexual affection- it’s not unreasonable during pregnancy/post birth for there to be substantial dry patches.