My Dsis split from her partner and father of her 3 YO DD a few months ago. Ex BIL has a drug problem and is not able to support himself.
He has recently moved in with a new GF with 3 DCs. DN stays overnight for 1 night every weekend and shares a bedroom with the other 3 DC. Until a few weeks ago ex BIL was living with a family friend (just the 2 of them) and DN was happy staying there with him.
DN is not happy staying overnight in the new situation. The main issue is that my Dsis can only communicate with her ex through the new GF, as she has taken his phone in a bid to tackle the drug issue. Dsis has offered for exBIL to stay in her house with DN and she will go elsewhere, but the GF shuts this down and says DN" just has to get used to it" and "they're very adaptable".
Ex is also indicating that the relationship is not going to last, so all this upheaval will be for nothing and is likely to result in further upheaval.
To avoid drip feeding; Dsis has taken advice from SS on contact with exBIL in relation to his specific drug issue and also reported him to the police when he was using drugs and driving around.
Dsis is looking for advice on whether to suspend contact entirely, until exBIL is more stable or whether to stop the overnights. What is reasonable in this situation? (Sorry for the long post).