Finding friends as an adult

[shortytrekker]

I've got friends, but I haven't. What I mean is, there are people who really like and we chat when we happen to see each other but no-one ever contacts me to see if I want to go out for a drink, to a play, to meet with our families to go to an event together. I'm a bit sad about it really.

So, I need to ask how to do it. How do I go from say... chatting to parents at a baby group to being friends? How do you give the people who you'd be able to call with any problem and they'd be there to lend an ear? I know friendships need to grow but how do we know who to give that time to?

This sounds mad as I'm all approaching my late 30's - but my life revolves around my children. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well, do you ask them to do things, or invite them to your house, or suggest events?

Following with interest...I’m in the same boat, but older.

@FeigningHorror I have tried in the past, I'm not good at knowing when to ask though. Is asking someone from baby group to meet for a coffee, who I've known just a month, weird? Too soon? Too date-ish?

As a teen/20-something I relied on friends from my area and school who I had known since childhood. I now realise this doesn't help.

Would also like to know, late 20's here feel like since having my twins I've drifted apart from almost all my friends and some aren't even salvageable. Would love to meet some new friends!

I think you need to develop and work on mutual interests if possible. Say, joint a local running or walking club and then try and get some of the mums that you chat to to join.


Or ask up front if they are interested in going for a routine walk - you can say that you are hoping to get fitter in the new year and are any of them interested in going for, say, a 5k walk about 2 or 3 times a week.

Things might develop from there as you would have more extended chats then.

I think this is probably more common than you think. Realistically you need to just come right out and ask someone if they'd like to do something with you. Keep it short and fun, and hope they ask you to meet again soon. As long as they do you can be sure they find your company pleasant too.

Or you could use something like Bumble (the friendship side) to meet like minded people in your area.