New year wash out

[MumT15]

I feel like I’m making this into more then what it is but it’s happened more then once and I’m tired of it... my partner went out about 4pm to the pub for a little new year drink (so he says) I knew it wouldn’t be the case. He comes home at 11:20 all happy and drunk and wondering why I’m annoyed.. eats his food and falls asleep before 12. So I’m left bringing in the new year on my own.. he did it last year.. when I complained he said I was home before 12 to spend it with you.. am I right to feel like it’s wrong.. he’s not spent it with me he’s come home at the last minute Because he feels he has to. I know it’s only once a year but it’s not just this occasion he’s done it and it’s really annoying. I’ve not said anything this time and plan not to because I’m sick of saying the same stuff

I’d be pissed off too especially as it was two years in a row. Must have got pretty drunk to come home eat and then fall asleep by the bells. I’m guessing this is yet another thing that leaves you feeling like he doesn’t give a f$&”

More so if there are dc involved an you’re stuck at home unable to go anywhere

Yeah young child at home so couldn’t go out but didn’t want to. Wasn’t saying he couldn’t but would’ve been nice of him to be more considerate?

I have a young child.. so was at home for that reason.

Absolutely, he should have come home earlier. Does he do it often?

You absolutely have every right to be annoyed op. He sounds unbelievably selfish

Could you have paid a babysitter and gone out to celebrate with him ? Maybe he feels like you left him to it ?
To be fair - he did come home before midnight . And most folks of pissed will fall asleep !

Depends whether you had a discussion about going out/ staying in etc. If you’d said that you weren’t keen on going out and were happy to stay home, but happy for him to have a few drinks etc, then I’d say it’s just another night and take the opportunity to have a night out yourself at some point.

I imagine that the problem is no communication, and you were hoping to do something nice together at home but didn’t express that?

Ffs he came home before midnight but a little worse for wear

Did you make your expectation clear and did he agree with it?

Because he feels he has to
Doesn't this mean because he knows it matters to you?
What would you have done if he'd been home?
Honestly would you have spent NYE at home doing the same old shit and then spending ten minutes being 'excited' before declaring it over?
Why did you not have any plans made if it matters that much?

If he is in the pub that often why are you excited about seeing in a new year of being home alone while he's out?

for a little new year drink (so he says) I knew it wouldn’t be the case

You had no plans made. He knew you didn't want to be alone at midnight. He got home for midnight.

Your complaint is you didn't enjoy NYE at home alone and he fell asleep.

You can't blame him for your decision to spend another NYE at home alone as you had all year to make other arrangements and you knew he'd be out..
You could have told him at 4pm
" it's my turn for a NYE piss up as you were out last year"
or
"Be back by X because I'm doing X as planned"
or
"Be back by X for the (insert plan for both of you here) or I will (insert back up plan here)"
or
"-" (the noise a woman makes when shes out minus the kids)
Or (the honest one)
"Bullshit you're going out for a little drink, you can stay in watching me doing the usual shit and pretend to be as thrilled about spending the long hours of NYE at home as I pretend to be because I want to say Happy New Year to you at midnight"

You could have stuck him with a pin if you were that upset about him being asleep.

What was the agreement before he went? What would you have done if he'd been home?

It is crap that he fell asleep. The asleep before midnight thing would piss me off if he's claiming he came home to see the new year in with you.