Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just a hug please

35 replies

GellerBing · 31/12/2019 23:16

I don't know why im posting,I think I just need to say it so i keep sane. Don't even know where to start but it's the same old shit, if im honest with you I can't even remember what it was about. Anyway it resulted in the same old fist fight. It seems to be getting worse everytime, he punched me on my shoulder, face, jaw just everywhere aches. My poor baby was watching us, he hates it.

Im just so tired of it all I really am, I know I can't maintain this set up it is just not healthy, I am made to feel like im insane but I still have a bit of my judgement which is why I know this ain't right.

How can I leave? Parents pressured me to get married, when I did my marriage was very difficult and abusive so i left and came back home which was not much better but i had nowhere to go, my relationship between me and my family was so bad we did not talk for years but still lived in the same house. Eventually i met someone, who if im completely honest was a rebound. I was not attracted to him at all, I was attracted to his soul, he was lost like me or so i thought. I told him everything but it did not scare him he was just a gentleman. I got pregnant after 2 months. Things were getting really bad with my family so I just got a few things and left. Me and OH got married while I was 7months. It was just 2 of us and 2 witnesses. I never told any family or anyone that I was getting married or pregnant. My family by this point had stopped talking to altogether and acknowledging me.

Eventually after LO was born somehow slowly my family were getting in touch with me. My mother in particular calls me every week religiously and we have some what of a normal relationship, this is all as a result of me being 'married and settled', had I not been 'married and settled' they would not give a shit. I would be a nothing again. I can see that that they think the world of my OH as 'he's taken me on' (you know being divorced and all that) but I never tell them what hes really like, how can I after everything.

I've left my first marriage and I left my family when things got tough. But I can't keep running away forever.

My dislike for my OH has got so bad I just wish he was dead, I pray that he dies so I can live with my LO without fear. He threatens to take everything say from me so I have nothing.

During the argument today I never say this but I just got so tired of the same old crap that I actually got his clothes and calmly said please just go, im asking you polietly to go but he just continued swearing and told me to f off as he won't go.

Im sorry I don't know why I've written so much, thank you if you have taken the time to read.

OP posts:
ouch321 · 31/12/2019 23:19

If he is/ has been physically attacking you, are you able to call the police?

MrsMozartMkII · 31/12/2019 23:23

Call the police lass.

I'm sending you as many hugs as you need, but please call the police. Make this the start of you being safe.

GellerBing · 31/12/2019 23:25

LO is coughing away and fat trollop OH has done nothing to comfort him. I went upstairs with my phone torch light and gave LO water bottle to sip, put my phone on charge and bastard OH grabbed the wire off me. He was more bothered having an argument with me than consoling LO. I feel like giving up on everything, if it was just me I probably would have but LO is the ONLY thing worth worth it.

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 31/12/2019 23:25

Where do you live? Can you get to a refuge?

keepingbees · 31/12/2019 23:26

Huge hug as you sound like you really need one Sad

Please get out of this relationship. You can do it, and he cannot take everything. You have legal rights.

Ring the police if you are in immediate danger. Ring women's aid for advice. See a family law solicitor. You can get advice for free initially and you might be able to get legal aid.
Please seek help.

RickOShay · 31/12/2019 23:27

I’m so sorry. You really don’t deserve this. I think calling the police is a good idea if you can. Flowers

GellerBing · 31/12/2019 23:28

I can call them but he will take my baby away from me. I couldn't care less if he takes my house and money but baby is my life. The reason i breath

OP posts:
RickOShay · 31/12/2019 23:29

Have a really big hug from me.

RickOShay · 31/12/2019 23:29

No he won’t take your baby. Please phone them.

RickOShay · 31/12/2019 23:39

Hope you are ok @GellerBing

Louise91417 · 31/12/2019 23:44

He cant take your baby away, get yourself somewhere safe and get away from the bullying bastard. Do it for yourself and your little one. Your worth so much more than this.Flowers

Krazynights34 · 31/12/2019 23:47

He absolutely cannot take your child. For your child’s sake call the police.

gamerchick · 31/12/2019 23:47

Ring to police, they'll remove him.

GellerBing · 31/12/2019 23:49

Im suppose to be having lunch with family tomorrow, been looking forward to it all week. Mum called twice to confirm if im going as I said I'll bring the drinks. Im stressing about how to cancel last min and the drinks. Can't go with a black eye and swollen lip

OP posts:
GellerBing · 31/12/2019 23:51

Im sorry, im being stupid. I know it's the least of my worries

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 31/12/2019 23:52

Call the police.

Take photos of your injuries.

RickOShay · 31/12/2019 23:54

You aren’t being stupid at all. Are you close to your mum? Can you tell her what’s happened?

lilmishap · 31/12/2019 23:59

You don't need to justify a reason to leave. "I want to leave" is a valid reason to leave.
You don't need anyone else to agree your reason is valid.
You're not running away from family, you are independent of them because they're useless..
You are refusing to accept shitty treatment because you deserve better and if your family disagree they are likely messed up enough to think shitty treatment is acceptable, it is not.

I'm sorry your family didn't teach you this lesson.
I'm sorry you need other people to tell you there is nothing wrong with wanting to escape shitty treatment and in fact it is the expected behaviour of a rational strong parent.
I'm sorry you feel a normal Mother-Daughter relationship is possible if Mother is ignoring the abuse you are suffering.
Mostly I'm sorry you weren't your own Mother, you would have supported you and told you to report him.

Get away from the cunt who battered you with his fists in front of your LO.
Call the police on the cunt who beat you with his fists the same way you would want a man who attacked LO with his fists to be reported.
If I saw a man punching a woman I would report it, react as if you are the woman watching rather than the victim of it.

Do it before he kills you

user764329056 · 01/01/2020 00:00

OP please use every resource for support, I am so sad for you and your little one, your husband is a complete bastard and you need safety

NumbersStation · 01/01/2020 00:03

Call the police OP.

Get you and your wee one safe and see the New Year in with hope in your eyes instead of fear.

Hugs from me Flowers

Lilacpheonix · 01/01/2020 00:09

Please call the Police OP. Hugs to you x

simplekindoflife · 01/01/2020 00:12

Call the police now.

This situation with this arsehole won't get any better. And as your dc gets older, they will know what's happening. Sad

Get you and your lo somewhere safe, tonight, please. The evidence is on your face. Surely nobody would give custody to him.

Meet your mum tomorrow. She needs to see what you're going through.

GertrudeCB · 01/01/2020 00:15

Call. The. Police. For your LO's sake if not your own.

GenuineKlatchianPottery · 01/01/2020 00:21

Please call the police OP.
Gentle hugs here.

fazakerleyjackie · 01/01/2020 00:29

We are here listening sweetie.
Please ring the police. they will come, they will not leave him with you.
You and the little one deserve so much more than this. Whatever he has told you please don't listen. No one wants to take a baby away from their Mum.
Women's Aid will help you to be safe.
Safe hug from me x

Swipe left for the next trending thread