But will never give me a specific example. I have begged him to because I genuinely can’t see it and I replay conversations in my head but am at a loss as to what he means. We had an argument today because we’re going on a city break soon that I’m really excited about, I haven’t had a child free break since before my dd 3 1/2 was born and am so looking forward to wandering around peacefully, going to galleries, eating out, all things that are impossible (well not impossible but challenging) with a lively and demanding child. He had been saying the same so this is definitely not all just my idea or all stuff only I want to do. he’s a keen film maker, he has a professional film camera and likes to take hours of footage that he then edits and grades and makes into proper films with a music soundtrack etc. Which is obviously great and he’s done some lovely ones. There have been times however when we’ve gone places and I pretty much haven’t had any interaction with him at all as he’s been filming, and there’s a lot of standing and waiting around. Also he wants to get the latest new fancy camera for this trip. So I tried to very tactfully say, is it ok if there is a bit of a balance between filming and just spending time together and being in the moment and looking at stuff without it always being through a lens. He got very huffy with me so I left it, about an hour later I tried again saying I only meant can we have some time without the camera but obviously it was fine for him to film too and I wasn’t trying to say he couldn’t! But he got angry and said (and this is what ends up being the issue almost every time we row) that it was the WAY I said it and that I’m really blunt and rude. I honestly don’t know how more gently and tactfully I could have said it, without having brought it up at all. This makes me feel like he just doesn’t like me saying anything that he disagrees with, and when I asked how else I could have said it without being ‘rude’ he had no answer and just shut down the conversation. This happens every time. Am I meant to just never disagree with him or ever bring up anything that could be contentious? If I am rude then obviously I don’t want to be that way but it feels like no matter how I try to put things it’s wrong. Was I rude? I’m starting to doubt myself and feel worried about saying anything! I have good friendships and have not been told I’m rude by anyone else. I am, I would say quite direct, as in I don’t hint about things, or meander around a point too much. But I try to be empathic and understanding of other people’s perspective, I absolutely do. Also I have a job that requires me to communicate about very sensitive and upsetting matters with people so I think my communication skills are quite well developed. I just feel like I can’t win. Does he just fundamentally dislike me as a person is what I’m asking myself, in which case it doesn’t bode well for a continuing relationship.