Dh has a problem with binge drinking. We keep setting limits ( like when he should drink etc) but he keeps gradually pushing and always ends up back at the start i.e. drinking from 11am on his days off, keeping buying more beer instead of sticking to the few he bought originally .
It has been affecting our DC age 9 recently so we had to have a very frank conversation about how if staying with him was detrimental to dc then I would end it straight away. Dh grew up in alcoholic household and has some bad memories of his childhood so understands my point. Today he went out to pub ( after a run of night shifts and no sleep today) for " a few" come 7 pm ish I phone him to see what state he is in and if he needs picked up and after him answering but not speaking then answering incoherently eventually a woman answers says she is the barmaid and angrily ( understandably) tells me that my husband has been filmed by some girls trying to damage and burn her car. I then hear him being threatened and told to fuck off out of it etc. Phone then goes dead and when I get him back on phone again it's about 30 mins later and he is barely understandable saying its "all cool". Comes home denies everything. I gave him a sleeping bag and the couch and left him to it. But when I went down there to get dc a drink he had emptied his pockets onto couch and I found a bag of white powder ON THE COUCH . He says he doesn't know what it is (?cocaine or mdma) . A few years ago he had a really bad episode of depression and attempted suicide- I can't believe he would take drugs and risk triggering his mental health problems again. And today he gave me a huge lecture about overspending on the food shop but spends money on drugs, ( for the record I spent 70 for a few dinners and for nibbles for a NYE party). Sorry if this is disjointed but my head is upside down and I don't want to drip feed. Been married 13yrs. I will talk to him tomorrow about going somewhere else to live but just need a hand hold and advice.
I still love him. And when he is sober he is the funniest kindest person. But horrible when drunk.