Christmas day

[Washedoutlady]

I asked my DP what he wanted to do on the day. His DD is 21 but doesn't really get on with her mother (his ex) so he planned to spend the day with his DD and I with with my children who are late teens and he'd come over later.
I'd had a problem with my DP coming round later and later and cutting weekends short but after a talk it has been sorted. I hadn't asked him what time he was coming round christmas day but he arrived at 7pm which was fine we'd last seen each other on the Sat.
He really is lovely kind and thoughtful. It turned out his DD didn't spend much of Christmas with him and announced to him she was going to her cousins for dinner at around 1pm.So my DP didn't have any of the Christmas dinner, he'd bought and spent the day alone and went for a run. I felt hurt that he didn't feel he could let me know and come round earlier. I thought his DD was quite rude to change her mind on the day. I just find it all a little odd.

I think what he did was normal and polite. He might not be bothered by Xmas so didn't mind his DD going to her cousins. Then rather than use you as a back-up he left you to enjoy the day with your DC as planned rather than intrude. I'd have done the same.

He really loves Christmas but yes maybe he wanted to be on his own until much later. I had said I wanted to spend the day with him but that I didn't want his DD on her own and he wouldn't have done that anyway. I think next year I'll leave him to make his own arrangements he may have felt like he couldn't intrude as I'd said I was with my children.

He may not be as into you as you are him.

I don't think that, he's full on I've never been out with anyone like him. He really is lovely in many ways so this behaviour isn't really in keeping with how he normally is. I will put it down to wanting sometime alone he works long hours and was probably needing a break.

Maybe he just didn’t want to disturb your day by coming round earlier or he just wanted some chill time? I wouldn’t read too much into it if he is good in other ways

Is it possible the actions of his DD upset him and he didn't feel like coming to you earlier as a result? If he'd turned up at 1.30pm in a foul mood would that have been better?

He probably thought that it would be a bit of a cheek blowing you out for his DD xmas day then asking to come round earlier just because she's now got other plans. After all, who wants to be plan B, and he probably thought he would take advantange of a few free hours. Don't over think it.

I would be a little hurt too, OP, if my DP chose to spend most of Christmas Day on his own rather than with me. Is it possible that he doesn't really get on with your kids?

He gets on well with my kids. I said I didn't want his DD to be on her own and she'd decided to spend the day with him and I was happy with that and would just fit in. I had suggested us all being together or whatever I was ok with it. I spent last year with him.
I cannot fault him but sometimes he does do things which I find a little odd.
I'm just on my guard a little over other things.
Yes he could take advantage of a few hrs but I hadn't seen him since Saturday. I just find the I miss you so much doesn't match up with the actions. However
It probably is just him needing to chill. He didn't understand why I was upset that he couldn't tell me he'd not eaten and he lovrs food! Or come over a little earlier. I can't understand his daughter not having a meal with him I just couldn't do that. Particularly as he'd told me what he'd bought.

And what they were having and she just changed her mind on Christmas day.