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Original poster

Lunch with a newly widow

7 replies

user246854 · 29/12/2019 21:18

Been chatting to guy on tinder and lunch is arranged for tomorrow, knew he was single since last year after 15 years of marriage but just found out his wife died only 4 months ago.

Is it to soon to be going for lunch? Should I leave it for now?

OP posts:
GenderfreeJoe · 29/12/2019 21:21

Did he just find out she died after splitting up with her? Confused.

AllThatPalaver · 29/12/2019 21:23

He's not really a widow if they've been separated for over a year. But if you mean he is single because she died and it was only 4 months ago, sooner than the year he told you, then yes it's probably too soon.

Singlenotsingle · 29/12/2019 21:25

It's his decision, isn't it?

daisypond · 29/12/2019 21:26

So, his wife a year ago but you have only learned four months ago that she died? Is that right? Or they split up a year ago, but she died four months ago?

daisypond · 29/12/2019 21:27

Sorry, meant to have the word “died” between “wife” and “a year”.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 29/12/2019 21:27

I would go for the lunch. As a widow myself, I should hate to think that someone cancelled seeing me or meeting me because of potential awkwardness. I have taken the decision not to date again but I am very lonely and am keen to meet new people to make friends. I would think that anyone who is looking for a chapter 2 is nervous about how they come across, but if they were separated before his wife died, he may be even keener to widen his social circle to include people who didn't know him as part of a couple. It may not lead to anything romantic, but if the only thing putting you off is his widowhood, are you considering not meeting him to save your own awkwardness or is there another reason?

It may interest you to know though that widowers are more likely than widows to seek a chapter 2 early on.

Original poster
user246854 · 29/12/2019 21:55

Sorry I wasn't clear she died 4 months ago and they were still together had been married 15 years, she was poorly for a lot of that time with cancer.

I have no issues meeting and wouldn't mind the friendship route we have lots in coming , dog walks in country, running etc and I'm pretty lonely and isolated so friend to do these things with us fine

Guess I'm more worried about him with it only been no 4 months... but guess when something like this happens there is no set time for anyone

OP posts:
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