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Relationships

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Husband changing his mind about kids

1 reply

Ellajt · 29/12/2019 19:44

Hello! Long time lurker after a bit of advice please.

My husband and I essentially rushed to get married as he decided he really really wanted children like right now. I always knew I wanted children but it wasn't really on my mind at the time, but he almost talked me into wanting them immediately. We were already engaged so went ahead booked the wedding (18 months from engaged to married) because we agreed that once you have kids, it's harder to afford a wedding. We then booked our honeymoon and due to timing and destination, we aren't able to begin trying until March 2020. Bare in mind that this is 2.5/3ish years since we started saying we wanted kids ASAP. Now it's around the corner, my husband is backing out a bit. He's not sure. There's so much he wants to do before kids. My mental health is in a good place and he doesn't want to spoil that (??).

I'm just terribly confused about what's happened, I feel like I've been fooled a bit. Has this happened to anyone else? Is it just nerves about starting a family? What do I do? I don't want to push him away but I am now desperate for a family myself and I'm aware that the body clock is ticking away. Seeing all my friends having children is hurting my heart.

OP posts:
CardsforKittens · 29/12/2019 21:09

That’s very emotionally confusing. His ‘reasons’ sound a bit like excuses. How old are you? If you’re both under 30 you have some time to resolve this. If you’re closer to 35 it’s a bit more urgent in terms of your fertility.

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