Domestic Abuse

[lemonstartree]

I sort of know the answer but I need some other perspectives on it so please bear with me.

Yesterday I left my husband.

Yesterday morning he hit our 5 year old son around the head over some trivial issue and threw him out of the room. When I intervened and stood between him and our son, he became extremely verbally abusive, calling me a f*ing bitch and a 'shit mother' and shouting at me to get out. This was infront of all three of our children. I left managing to take the children only because I threatened to phone the police if he did not allow me to go.

Later I spoke to him on the phone. He said he did not believe that he had done anything wrong and that he wanted a divorce because I do not give him enough sex.

This is the second really bad incident. Approx 14 months ago he was so out of control threatening to kill me and terrifying the children, on that occasion I was so frightened I did call the police who were excellent. They threatened to remove him from the property to the 'cells' if there was another such incident within 2 years.This is why he allowed me to leave yesterday.

He is often verbally aggressive and abusive to me and about me to the children, I know this is wrong but he says it is not. I feel that I am losing all sense of what is normal in a marriage.
So that is my first question - what is normal ?
next does anyone have any practical advice? He has been at home looking after the children for the last 16 month. I am terrified that he might get custody - is this likely ?
I have now left the marital home and am at my brothers house - I can stay for a few days but will have to go home soon as the children need to go back to school etc. is there any way I can make him leave the house?

thanks so much if anyone has some good advice

i left in june...and every now i get a glimmer of pure joy at the prospect of life free from the constant horror story we were living...what feels "normal" lemon,in abusive relationship.would horrify normal people if we truly let on to them how bad life is.
I liken it to brainwashing...you doubt your own sanity...get that book i told you about,you will regain yours and your childrens lives with its help.
I was told it was my fault because he wasnt getting enough sex....familiar?

well done for leaving him. I was the same situation my eldest dd is 12 and I have a ds with him who is now 10. My ex was violent to me I was covered in buises on my arms neck & back etc when I told his mother she did nothing. So when my son was 4 mts old I left him and moved into a house my dad rented out. My house with my ex was reposessed and to be quite honest I didn't care I was glad to be away form him. Things went to court he tried to get custody saying I was an unfit mother and that I was taking drugs (I wasn't) It will get very nasty when it goes to court mine did he made up loads of stuff about me that wasn't true. But the cafcass officer who worked for the courts saw through the lies. Don't worry about custody he will not win whether or not he has been looking after the children. The courts never take the children from the mother unless they can prove they are in harms way when they are with you. They will also contact social services to see if there have been any complaints about you. If your husband has hit the children you need to report him to social services just to cover you. also make a diary about the incidents this is proof when you go to court.

When you get back in the house first thing you should do is change the locks.