Help me stay strong and move on

[Foldinglaundryisnotforme]

Just managed to calmly agree to split up today and get him moved out by tomorrow. We have three children so it's not a case of block and ignore, but I am very very weak when it comes to missing him and thinking of the what ifs and basically begging like an idiot. I DO NOT want to do this again because I know this is the right thing to do for everyone including my children who have seen far too much arguing. I need help and support, tools and advice to keep strong in the dark weak moments. Come on MN, lecture the life out of me when I need it, you'll do a world of good for a broken woman

Anyone?

No real advice to offer he but didn't want to read and not reply. It sounds like you have made a brave decision for all the right reasons and you just need to dig deep and see it through. Have you got your head straight in terms of the practical stuff?

Get some books to read like 'Why Does He Do That?' 'Women Who Love too Much' and any others you come across if you google the Amazon pages.
You could sign up for the freedom programme too.
When I was going through similar I made lists of things to do each week - 'Me Lists', I called them and I'd have one big ticket item (one for each week) that ranged from trying out a new recipe, reading a Bronte novel, learning to sew and making a skirt..... to signing up for a course that would lead to a promotion at work.
A year on and my confidence was on the up, my upgraded skills led to a small promotion and I had things to talk about with other people that gave me a sense of being interesting rather than dull.
Recommended OP.

Write an extensive list of why you want him to leave and every time you weaken, go back and read it.

Also a list of how things will be better when, for instance, you no longer have to clean up the mess he leaves after a shower.

Hi, just noticed I have some replies. Thanks for the suggestions. We're managing to be quite friendly but it's this exact situation that makes me pine for what could've been. I need to realise we are so incompatible and I need to leave it. He moves out in half an hour, his stuff is by the front door and he's helping with the kids and my stomach is in knots at the thought of him walking out

Just wanted to say that I hope you’re ok and managing to stay strong

Hi, thanks for the well wishes. I'm still doing okay-ish.... I'm finding myself veering into the territory of the never will be visions of the idealistic future we should've had together. The family holidays, the couples breaks, the memory making. It's those moments that absolutely pull my gut from my chest. But, I also have moments daydreaming where I may be in a year or so and that I could possibly feel really, truly loved and cherished and appreciated so I think that's a positive sign that I'm not spending n entire time dwelling on him. What's really important for me is sorting my self esteem and independence out for me though and I'm just not sure where to start with it quite yet. I think I'm quite a codependant person and I have unhealthy ideas of relationships so I want to get my head in order before I end up in another doomed relationship quicker than I should be