How do I know what to do first?

[DuvetOrNotDuvet]

Have nc for this, just in case.

I’ve been with DP on and off for 6 years, we separated a few years back and I ended up pregnant with DS to a different chap, things didn’t work with us, but he is an involved and mainly good dad. DP and myself got back together when DS was little and dated each other again, we moved back in together in Feb of this year. He is excellent with my DS.

I had a miscarriage two months ago and I feel like my world has bottomed out, DP and I are being short and sharp with each other, not helped by the fact I’ve been getting bug after bug after bug lately.

DP isn’t the best at house stuff, I call him out on it and he will pull his finger out for a few days and then slips back into old ways. So now I just tend to lose my rag with him as I am so sick of having the same conversations over and over. Which he then will say that I’m always going off on one. Which I am. It’s a shitty circle of him being lazy and me not communicating effectively.

I’m just so sick of it all. Of my stressful job, DP not being arsed to wash pots if I’ve made a meal (I do most of life admin/household work, I work p/t 30hrs), of losing the baby. I never have time for myself and I’m just so unhappy. But I don’t know how to fix it. Or fix me. Doctor doesn’t think I’m depressed, I’ve had bloods done recently and they’re fine.
But I’m so unhappy.

DP isn’t the best at just talking things through, he tends to get defensive and take things personally, we can discuss something once and that’s it he’s done with that topic. Regardless of how I feel about it, very much as if he buries his head in the sand and expects problems to go away. But I can’t force him to sit and talk things through with me.

I’m going to bed now, but any advice would be welcome.

I'm sorry OP. This sounds like a lot to be dealing with .

What should you do first? I think you need to take some time out for yourself, away from the house and away from DH.
Does your son go with his Dad? Can you use some of that time to so something enjoyable for yourself? A walk in the park? A swim? A trip to the library? A meal with a friend? Something you enjoy...This will help put some of the other issues in perspective and will give you space to think.

Also, two months isn't a lot of time, so you are still grieving the loss of your pregnancy. Be kind to yourself.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your pregnancy. I agree with PP 2 months isnt long and you havent been well with bugs. I think you need to give yourself a break. Do you have a friend or family you could visir for a few days or take a day or two off work and go and have a spa day or something.

Think you need a bit of space and some time to relax and gather your thoughts.

OP I had a miscarriage in the summer so I have an idea of where you're coming from. Luckily my relationship was OK, but my work suffered a lot - I felt very unhappy and bitter and just stopped caring abouta lot of stuff. It's only really abated since I got pregnant again and of course this pregnancy is marred by fear and uncertainty. It's a really shit time! TBH I think you need to accept this and just move through it as best you can. It's difficult to comment on your relationship issues because who knows if it's your unhappiness or his lazyness that is really at the root of it? Of course he should be making more of an effort though, given that he knows what you're going through. Can you persuade him to go to couples counseling maybe? It doesn't work miracles but can help with communication and understanding. I agree with pps about taking time for yourself too