Men who have been cheated on (why do they blame every other woman they date)?

[Kittykatxxo]

I was dating a guy for 2 months. his ex cheated on him and after that he stayed single for 2 years (basically saying he just resented all women) And now he has completely shut me out to the point he is point blank Nasty to me almost like I’m the one who cheated on him I don’t take it personal but sometimes he can be down right rude with how he speaks about women and I sometimes notice I get it projected on to me sort of asif I’m being tarred with the same brush, being held responsible. I’m just curious is it normal to hold so much resentment? Has any other women experienced this?

I ask because I find it hard to understand how I was nothing but kind to someone and received nothing but cruel behaviour. I have cut contact with him because it was getting ridiculous how nasty he was becoming but still just so confused and will never get closure from him so :) trying to make sense of it for myself.

I think men bunch us all in together as one job lot.

It's an excuse to be mean to you, and he's a twat.

His ego has been pulverised. This issue is clearly him and not you.

If he blames all women for him being cheated on then you may as well bow out now.

Don't let him punish you for the sins of another. I'd love to see his face when you dump him and tell him why

Sorry, I missed the bit you cut contact. Well done. Don't give him any more headspace. He needs therapy.

There's no point trying to figure it out. Some men just really hate women.

I don’t think all men who haven been cheated on are like this. Some are just unable to move on.

It’s probably his personality as well. Maybe his behaviour to his ex was part of the reason she cheated on him.

I’d try not to dwell on any of this though. His shitty behaviour isn’t because of anything you have done m.

He doesn't sound very nice and I wouldnt worry too much. However if you want to go deeper as a man its tough when you've been cheated on as you tend to get certain reactions particularly from women. I find most women will happily tell me I was it must be because of something I've done, I've had women call me a liar saying women don't cheat and then there's the "well you clearly weren't good enough in bed" approach. I've had the latter off men too. Theres also the whole stigma in a relationship that if the man says anything bad about an ex hes got issues!

“why do they blame every other woman they date)?“

They don’t all do this. The abusive men do. It’s a red flag. I’m glad you cut contact with this guy. You should take it personally when a man is nasty to you or about other women. You should take note of his perception of women in general. Misogyny is a red flag of an abuser. When you meet a man listen for how they talk about or refer to their exes. Do they speak about their mother, sister, female friends respectfully.
Obviously exes are exes for a reason. But there’s a big difference between saying, “my ex cheated and I was devastated and we don’t get on“ and “my ex is cheating psycho whore”.

If you’re wondering what other red flags to look out for google “red flags mumsnet”

My twat ex used to say all women were cheats and liars yet he had never been cheated on, turns out he was the liar and had attempted to cheat many times.
His own guilty conscience made him suspicious of others, are you 100% sure he had been cheated on and not the other way round?
Either way you’ve done the right thing.

I get really tired of the "not all men" thing, as a way of devaluing important points but here I think it's really important. It isn't men or women that end up bitter and twisted from failed, cheating relationships, it's a minority to whom it amplifies some basic insecurity to the level of misogyny, misandry or misanthropy.

He is a narcissistic cunt and just using the excuse that a woman has cheated on him to try to get away with his narcissistic cuntishness. Dump him now - these abusers can only dish out misery, but they pretend to be lovely so that women fall for them and they start being lovely again when they think they are about to be dumped. Dump, Dump Dump. Dump the cunt. Now

The same way women blame every man.

Because in his mind his underlying mysogynisitc views had been validated.

Women do the same. I'm staying away from men as the last one completely broke me with multiple cheating and lies - I can't believe I wanted to marry this "man"!

I'd be doubting his version if events and being happy to be free if him.

If it's illogical and unpleasant it doesn't matter what sex it is. I don't want to know!

Women are always blaming all men, particularly on MN so its probably the same reason.

Mumsnet double standards strike again.

Had the op been a male posting about 'women who have been cheated on', he would have told that the problem was his and that the title alone proves that he is some sort of misogynist.

Think women blame men in same manner...

The double standards are ridiculous every date I've been on I've been told how horrible their ex's have been. While If I talk nicely about an ex I'm still in love, if I say anything bad I'm misogynistic and if I say nothing I'm hiding something. Impossible to win!