Aibu to think he didn't start abusing children at 75?

[bostonbaby]

I am having counselling atm. Currently focussing on early life where I was SA by my GF. I had not realised until now the impact of this on my life but one thing that is bugging me is the fact he was 72 when I was born. I don't think that they start their ways at this age, I must have been 3 or4 at the time of the abuse. I think he must have done it to older girls in my family before me and they have not said anything(which is ok) or not have been believed/ brushed under the carpet at the time. I just don't know how to deal with this before my next session where I have promised myself I would open up for once now we have caught the issue.
Can't even articulate because it's only now I've realised this is such an issue

You can report non recent child abuse to the NSPCC or the police even anonymously and if there are links to prior reports they can make links. Or can you trust a family member to help you heal this wound. I have had a similar experience with an uncle and would love to know if my cousins were affected but I couldn’t bring it up so have been thinking about reporting it now he’s dead.

Oh he is well dead. I'd have smothered the cunt years ago if not.

It might well be that he didn't have the opportunity before, not being left alone with a child etc.

Cannot trust anyone. I know there are rumours of him being a paedophile as I heard an argument once but all the family worship him. Pictures of his grave all over fb and I just want to tell the silly cows that they are either blinkered as shit or had a lucky escape.

I think you are right, the chances are that he abused others before he abused you.

An elderly neighbour abused a neighbourhood child having groomed the dad by bringing him over for drinks to get access to the child. When it came out it turned out there were rumours and allegations going back two generations.

Have you ever talked to anyone in your family about your abuse? Attitudes are different now so things that were once tolerated and covered up can be talked about.

It is highly likely that your GF was abused but it's not always the case.
I agree with you, he would have been a predator for years before he prayed on you. Partners/relationships might have always been with vulnerable women/big age gap/someone with access to children.
An exception to the rule might be if he had a head injury/mental health problem such a Frontotemporal Dementia which changed his sexual behaviour.

I can totally understand why you feel the way you do. And therapy is definitely the best place for you to talk about it first. If you decide you want to approach the subject with family then if you've talked it through first it might help you keep your sanity if people disbelieve you. My experience of recovery from childhood SA is that actually its my recovery and only my recovery that I am responsible for. For you that might include talking to family, it might not. Whatever you choose to do I hope you find peace x

Yes he would abused every female in famliy . But he would have hold over them . They would not tell anything. He would told them they special and he loved them .
They would have believed it .
They also let you be abused. The aid and abetted and are just much to blame in my eyes as your grandfather .

Myyear, you cannot possibly back up those assertions. You do not know if anyone else in the OPs family was abused (though i agree that its likely), and accusing them all of collusion against her frankly smacks of victim-blaming. I understand the anger, but posts like that are not necessarily helpful.

OP i am so sorry this happened to you. Its good that you are in counselling, and i hope you can find some peace x

Bless you sweetheart how awful. I agree it's highly unlikely this all began with you. Probably been going on for years before you. The dirty bastard. You are so strong.

I hope you find peace and heal from this trauma eventually....sending you love and strength xxxxx