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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Relationship when you have children

8 replies

kateshair · 28/12/2019 20:52

Any one advice - I’m in a relationship been three years now partner is Lovely however we don’t live together and have no plans to do so until his youngest daughter is 16- that’s two years away.

Usually am happy with this as plans as I’m place to live together In future just lately though been feeling low about it as it seems everyone is living together or married or planning to do it next week.

This has affected me as most of my friendship circle are all partnered off living together! I need to focus on the positives don’t I ? How do you cope when not living together fully

OP posts:

GaraMedouar · 28/12/2019 20:55

Two years it's not long. I'm single currently and to me your situation sounds ideal, not living together fully would be perfect.
But yes, focus on the positives, won't be long.

Zzzz19 · 28/12/2019 20:57

A lot of living together/married people would prefer your situation!

PumpkinP · 28/12/2019 21:04

But the op does want to live with her partner and that’s ok. Doesn’t matter what other people prefer. I’m with you op, I wouldn’t be happy about it.

Original poster

kateshair · 28/12/2019 21:13

It would be easier to live together financially and am sure emotionally- thing is I have two kids also - one leaving next year as he is 24. Got a daughter who is 11. Would literally have to have a four/five bedrooms house. Two years isn’t so long

OP posts:

mindutopia · 28/12/2019 21:29

My husband and I lived an 11 hour flight apart for 2 years while we were dating and we didn’t actually live together until about 3 months before we got married. If it’s a solid relationship, 2 years is really no time at all. Enjoy your dc and your time to yourself and make the time you do have together count.

Scarsthelot · 28/12/2019 21:31

Enjoy it. I love dp. He was worth giving up singledom and living on my own for.

But honestly there are days I wish I could, temporarily, go back to when it was just me and the kids.

peonyfairy03 · 28/12/2019 21:38

Scarsthot I’m exactly like you some days I just crave it being just me and my kids.

Scarsthelot · 29/12/2019 06:27

Scarsthot I’m exactly like you some days I just crave it being just me and my kids.

I dont think it's that unusual. I think we are told you cant say it. Cause bound coupled up with someone you love is the dream. It's not the done thing to say you occassionally wish they would fuck off sometimes

I am more realistic. Living without dp, on the whole would be shit. I would not have given up being single, for anyone. On balance, living with him is better than living without him. But, I also dont mind saying that sometimes I just want him to go out, go away with his mates for a few days.

He is quite good atniticung I need space and takes himself off. So it works.

I wasnt looking for a relationship when I met him. And I wouldn't look for another if we split. He is the only person I met that was worth, on balance, giving up being single for.

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