Empathy

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I know my boyfriend of 6 years loves me and would do anything for me apart from he never shows me any empathy which I find very hard to deal with and upsetting . He has been on his own most of his life so says he doesn't know how to show any empathy, am I being unreasonable to want this

Hello no you are not being unreasonable at all. Sounds like he does have difficulty in perhaps showing emotion generally. Perhaps he can try and work on it. If he has had a difficult upbringing it may well explain it...

I had an XP like this. The difficulties came not so much from him not showing me any empathy (which at least I could reason away myself knowing that he loved me in his own way) but when he couldn't show empathy to others in a group situation, or would laugh when people were clearly hurt.

Explaining his behaviour away to others was hard. The lack of empathy eventually ended our relationship, his entire knowledge of sex came from watching porn and he couldn't rationalise why I didn't want to behave like a porn star at all times. Just be careful, OP. If he genuinely can't be empathic, it can be very hard to live with when something big happens and you just want some understanding.

We had a talk about it on Friday which was difficult in itself I tried to explain the difference between sympathy and empathy his answer is always it is what it is but he will try tbh I don't think he will . I have a very large family who are all jehovahs witnesses but as I left the religion they don't talk to me and I have very few friends so I really do need him to be there for me , I've had major issues since I met him like foot operation, car accident , moving house and family issues but not once has he even asked how I was feeling I just feel so alone . Sorry to go on and on

Sorry, OP, but I tried and tried and tried to talk to mine. I explained until I was blue in the face, but because he didn't understand what empathy is, he couldn't even pretend to feel it. He thoughthe knew what it was - smiling and laughing at the right places, but his inability to hug me when I felt down or empathise with any situation that he, personally, hadn't been through was too hard to deal with.

My XP was ASD. Undiagnosed as a child, so it had been left to go on without any interruption or anyone telling him that he didn't feel the same way as everyone else. He genuinely believed that everyone in the world was like him and therefore I was wrong to need empathy or comfort if he didn't understand why he should be giving it.

Maybe have a long hard think about the relationship as a whole, OP. He's clearly not fulfilling all your needs, is there a trade off? My XP was very loyal and straightforward, kind (within his abilities) and a good man. In the end though, it just wasn't enough.