@chocolatelover9 I'm not defending him, if I was defending him I wouldn't have written this post in the first place, I feel there's a difference between stating all the facts and defending someone.
@TimeForPlentyIn2020 I don't feel that he threatened to murder me. If that was the case I would of involved the police.
@CodenameVillanelle he goes out till that time maybe every 6/8 weeks. Other than that we do stuff as a couple with family and friends. When he is out he always is contactable, often texts me to say where he is and I always know who he is drinking with, I just know it's his way of relaxing, we used to go out till that time together before I started TTC.
We have spoken now on the phone, I am still staying away. He has apologised, says he drank far to much and acted in a way he is ashamed about. He feels I acted out of character towards him but admits his actions weren't a fair reaction. He has actually told his own Mum for some bizarre reason (guilt I expect) as she popped in to see him and asked where I was, she is now furious and very upset and won't speak to him.
Have told my brother, and 2 closest friends who both were very understanding and agreed with some posters on here, it's unacceptable but they know him very well and agree it is my decision but he clearly made a very big mistake and I need to go back when I'm ready and work out how to get it back on track, with some clear boundaries in place.
If this ever happened again I will leave, that has been my bottom line on this. I'm not scared to leave him, I have plenty of family support and do not need him financially so if it happened again I would be gone.