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Original poster

Would your feelings be hurt?

8 replies

Mumoftwox · 27/12/2019 22:30

So me and my fiance have been together 8 year 3 kids together. Last night we were watching TV and I feel asleep, literally right after I feel asleep he has downloaded samsung internet from play store and deleted it. I questioned him on it and he admitted he watched porn and masturbated. I feel hurt that the minute I have fell asleep that's what he has thought of, and also how do i know that was all he was doing, as it seems a tad extreme downloaded and uninstalling apps. :(

OP posts:
RLEOM · 28/12/2019 00:16

As long as upir sex life is generally OK, I don't see any harm in a bit of self pleasure every now and then.

madparrotlady12 · 28/12/2019 01:15

I'd be furious! I hate porn mind so it would be a deal breaker for me . I'm taking it he was right next to you when he was watching it? X

Sadiesnakes · 28/12/2019 07:45

If porn is a dealbreaker for you then you are well within your rights to be upset.

However it seems there's more going on here op. How do you know he downloaded and then deleted an app? This seems hyper crafty, and you seem hyper suspicious.

Does he know porn is a deal breaker? As in pre agreed he's happy not to use whilst in a relationship with you?

Without more background it's hard to say who is being U.

NicholJO · 28/12/2019 08:02

Hi op I get how you feel I hate porn but my bf watches it when I'm asleep I have a 5 year old and a 4 week old and not in the mood for sex so he gets his kicks from porn I told him when our sexlife improves he as to stop watching it if he don't he's out that door faster than counting to 3 I would talk to him and if he don't stop kick him out good luck

Original poster
Mumoftwox · 28/12/2019 08:12

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies. Well he said it wasnt beside me and went in the toilet. I mean I dont like the idea of him watching porn but that's not really the part that has hurt my feelings, it's more the case of I fell asleep cuddled in then 2 minutes later he has felt the need to get up and do it. Also, I am always suspicious probably more from reasons growing up (childhood) from my mum and stepdad relationship, rather than anything my partner has ever done. Deep down I hope he wouldn't hurt me but when he I found out he downloaded the app then deleted this has triggered something in me. Think it's more of the uncertainty of not knowing what he was actually doing to download a browsing app then delete why not just do it on your normal browser then delete. I am an over thinker in general so my mind does overtime, I do think it's more deeper than this as my partner and I have sex although I have told him for years that I feel that's the only time he touches me he doesnt kiss cuddle or be affectionate any other time which leave me feeling unloved. I love him but I feel he says he loves me even when his actions prove different (sorry for the rant)

OP posts:
Sadiesnakes · 28/12/2019 09:10

Well it was overkill to download an app, browse porn and then delete, yet you still found out.

You need some counseling op, that level of suspicion and mistrust isn't normal and you need help with it.

Having said that he's acted dishonest and very snaky going to such extremes to hide something from you. I'm not sure he deserves to be trusted and I'd see it as a huge breach tbh.

DianaT1969 · 28/12/2019 11:53

Did he do it on his phone? How did you know he downloaded and deleted something? Did you do a search on his activity?
I think porn might not be the real problem in your relationship. Maybe look at the wider picture?

mamato3lads · 28/12/2019 16:51

Dis he try and initiate sex or kissing before you fell asleep? Maybe he was frustrated? If he didn't bother trying it on with you and went straight for the porn I'd be hurt

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