Say if a female friend messaged you with relationship issues, would you give her advice and try to support her ? If it were a male friend would you do the same or would it be different because it's a man ?
Because tonight someone I thought was a male friend of 15 years has told me we need to stop talking for good.
He seems so unhappy in general and was getting drunk to numb the pain he said. K tried to give him advice about his relationship, because that's what a friend does, isn't it ? I know it's not my business and his choice.
Ive told him before that i do not want to cause any trouble by messaging him but he insists it's fine.
He has never had anything positive to say about this relationship and is always complaining and I said to him that life was too short to be so unhappy,that he had to think of himself, but that I hoped they would work it out.
He told me she had admitted lying about something and he told me another story which I said didnt sound right. However I later found out it was right and so I apologised to him for my mistake.
Before anyone starts no I don't fancy him at all and i'm not trying to break them up. I was also confiding in him about a guy who dumped me.
However I noticed that sometimes he would be messaging a lot, then other times not at all or would take weeks to reply, but he put it down to being busy.
The other week he was a bit out of line and I haven't messaged him since. He told me that me being single was a 'waste' that I am 'not exactly Shrek' and that i'm 'amazing' at 1am.
Then he claimed it had just been to try and cheer me up because i'd been down about the guy. Anyway a week later I got a random message out of the blue from him saying they have sorted it out and are really happy and that I have said really out of order stuff about their relationship and that we would not be in contact anymore.
I reminded him that he had been messaging me constantly complaining about the relationship, that it wasnt fair on either of them and that it's not worth him being depressed and turning to alcohol. I apologised if he had found it inappropriate, that I had just been trying to help.
I then had a message from his girlfriend and apparently he told her that him talking to me was some sort of escape because he 'never had to see me again in person'. I found that hurtful because I had asked him to meet with our old friendship group but he was always "busy".
I apologised to the girlfriend if she had been hurt in any way and told him that I did not want to hear any more about his relationship, that it was not appropriate to keep talking about it to me and that I agreed we would not be talking anymore.
Feel like a horrible person now. I guess I was out of line but I'm shocked at how fickle he's been and what he said about me, ive known him since we were teenagers.
From now on, I won't bother with taken male friends. Not worth the hassle and drama. If they message me, I don't want to know.