Christmas disagreement

[Unknowngirl1]

ok so I need advice on a situation from an outsiders perspective.
this year has been the hardest year for me and my partner yet as we always have pety arguments about things which always gets blown out of proportion, yesterday was christmas so we had the best morning but he complained loads about being hungry. my partner started drinking 12pm then went to the shop to get cans for someone else to drink, he didnt eat christmas dinner with us and carried on drinking in the house instead. anyway we had to give a lift to a family member so that took around an hour, I dropped him to his families house then so he could visit them and have a drink but he came home 2 hours later saying some family members was encouraging him to take drugs - I'm against drugs so of course that would annoy me especially as we both agree christmas is for kids and we have a child so would be wrong to do that on christmas day. I spent the next 2 hours then having to talk him out of actually taking drugs then at 8pm and he eventually had his dinner.
he got up this morning and said hed had a great day but I explained why it was bad because of what had happened, and the fact that christmas should have been about our child and not drinking for the whole day. he said he didnt think he did anything wrong because he never took any drugs and only stuck to drink which I should have been proud of, but would make it up to us by us going out for the day.
today turned sour because we went for food but then I refused to stay out for personal reasons so my partner thinks I ruined christmas by refusing to go today.
I dont know if this is because I see it from my view or am I just being stupid about christmas day and today?.

I'd call that more than a disagreement!

He clearly has addiction issues why are you still with him?

'I spent the next 2 hours then having to talk him out of actually taking drugs then at 8pm and he eventually had his dinner.'

What a selfish prick

I'd rid myself of that useless idiot. Why do you pander to him?

Dinner in the bin along with him.

You are not being stupid at all. He sounds awful. Not just the drinking from 12pm bit, but the fact he didn't have Christmas lunch with you and your children. That's unforgivable. He should put you all first! And then expecting you to drive him to his family (can he not get there himself the lazy git?), drinking heavily when he's there and then coming home late and expecting a fucking medal for not having taken drugs with them. He ruined your family Christmas. You deserve better. You do.

He ruined Christmas by getting wasted, acting like a fucking brat, leaving you to do all the work, neglecting his child and starting arguments. What a prick. That you’re even questioning whether any of this is your fault says your relationship isn’t doing you any favours. He expected you to be proud him? Did he really

he did have addiction issues before I got with him but hes been on the straight and narrow ever since. I have to be honest I do go on at him when he has had a drink which isnt very often anymore, but I only keep on because he can drink alot at a time and drink can sometimes lead to drugs which I dont agree with.

I had to do a lift for a family member so I dropped him to his family on the way, he was only out from 4-6pm so wasnt all day so that didnt bother me as I wouldnt expect him not to see his other family members on christmas. I spent til 8pm talking him around and he finally listened then had his dinner then

he did have addiction issues before I got with him but hes been on the straight and narrow ever since.

You are utterly deluding yourself!

Straight and narrow = clean and sober

Not getting pissed Christmas Day, having to be talked out of taking illegal drugs and fucking Christmas Day over for his family!

I am the daughter of an alcoholic I have MANY wrecked Christmases in my past, I spent this Christmas alone for a variety of reasons and while not ideal it was MASSIVELY better than those Christmases

And you've basically allowed him to inflict a crap Christmas like I've had in the past on your child.

If you do so again next year frankly you're no better than him!

End this relationship do better for your child's sake.

I understand your point but my child never had a crap christmas, we spent it with all of my family and he was drinking at my parents house, my child never knew he was drinking because she was too busy playing with the other kids at my parents.
my point was I didnt agree with the length of time that he drank for and that he didnt eat with us together with it being christmas especially as he moaned so much about being hungry aswell or the fact of how long it took me just to get him to stop.
this is the first Christmas that this has ever happened so it definitely took me by surprise

You shouldn’t have to talk him round. He’s meant to be your partner, not another dependent. Being with him is meant to make your life easier, not harder.

He spent the whole of Christmas Day drinking, that would be unacceptable for me. Telling you that your should be proud of him that it wasn’t drugs is gaslighting you I think. What do you see in him?

Just stop and ask yourself why are you with a selfish drinker/illicit drug user? It doesnit sound like a pleasant Christmas day to me.
Your child may not be aware of your partners drinking/ drug habits at the moment, but she soon will be. Is this the kind of lifestyle you want to model for her, really?
Set your standards a little higher, otherwise she will accept this is how life is meant to be and accept the same low behaviour in her own future relationships.
Do you not think you are worth more than spending Christmas day encouraging a man child to behave like a responsible adult?

You're kidding yourself about your child being unaware unless they are baby/toddler age

Trust me!

And they won't stay unaware in future.

Seriously ditch the selfish loser addict