Split with stbx nearly 4 months ago. Been together 15 years - all my adult life. He had an EA and told me. I ended it after I looked at his phone and got a real sense of the betrayal. I spent years propping him up through extreme mental health issues only for him to tell me he didn't love me and wasn't sure if he ever had.
Oddly I already feel 'over' him. Like the hurt was so bad it caused an immediate cessation of love and respect. But I am not over what he did to me.
I want to be. I want to not feel unwanted, unloveable and lacking. I want to find a new relationship with real love, respect and affection but I know I am unlikely to find those things until I have healed from what stbx did to me. How long before I have healed? And how do I know when that is? How can I tell when I've healed?