Mils that drip venom

[Chociefish]

I was never my ex mils favourite person but we got on for the sake of peace. I knew she used to say things about me to my ex as he would occasionally come home and not tell me things she said but that he wished she'd stop saying spiteful things.
I split from my ex over a year ago now and it has come through my dd1 that grandma says some horrible things about me.
Any tips for dealing with this? I am utterly convinced that over the years she has dripped so much poison down my exs ear that for the last 5 years of our relationship his love slowly ebbed away. This started after he was arrested for something that he didn't do. At this point he turned away from us (partner and dcs) and found solace in talking to his mum.
Call me paranoid but I'm sure from that point on she ramped up the poison.
Although I've moved on I still feel sad for the life I have lost. Part of me wants to cut her out completely, part of me wants to confront her over this. Out of a very sad situation she is the one doing the victory dance.
What are peoples experiences of toxic ex mils and how did you handle them?

I get how you feel, my ex MIL is the same, and like you, I have to have her in my life for at least the next 20 years. This is why I think it's best just to leave it.

I often think about what would've happened with my ex had his mother not been his puppeteer. It saddens me because there's a child involved, a child who's parents should've tried to make it work during a very stressful time (newborn, PND).

Try writing your thoughts down in a diary instead.