How do i navigate through this...

[Ghostbabe]

Yesterday was awful. DP made his mum cry (shouted because her dog did a poo on the floor) me cry and out daughter because of his awful poor tolerance and short temper. Christmas Day was ruined. I don’t want to spend a minute with him, but I can’t really leave the house until September when my youngest (has cerebal palsy) goes to school and I can get a full time job. He doesn’t seem to be aware of how awful he is and blames everyone else. You confront him with his behaviour and he goes from 0-100 straight away. Does anyone have any survival tips to get me through the next 9 months? I’m trying to avoid him as best as I can and just give one or two word answers to anything he asks.

There are no strategies, you need to plan your exit now rather than next September. Such a man could well also actively sabotage any and all attempts for you to get a job at that time.

You need a refuge place.

Do not further subject yourself and your children further to all this abuse from him. Another nine months of this will become more time and opportunity for him to further wear you down and abuse you. You,re already walking on egsshells around him already by giving him one word answers and avoiding him as best as you can.

Women’s aid can and will help you leave your abuser.

I can’t leave the house if I do it won’t look good in the courts. I have to stay in the property.
We are just going to Christmas Dinner at my fathers house. I’ve told him if he doesn’t want to come he doesn’t have too but started laughing about it. Wish me luck!

He is not your DP; he is not even a P.

What is the situation here re the property and finances?. I hope you will go onto tell me this is not all solely in his name.

What do you mean it won't look good in the courts?. Have you as yet sought any legal advice?. You've already handed over way too much power and control to him already, please do not give him even more.
If you have not sought legal advice to date I would suggest you do so and asap. You need legal advice particularly from a Solicitor who is well versed in the ways of abusive men.

This man you are with is abusive and will never be at all reasonable when it comes to you separating from him. Infact he will make that process as long and drawn out as possible as a means of further "punishing" you for having the gall to actually leave him because in his eyes he is a perfect specimen. Even after you have separated from him he will continue to act as a shit towards you and in turn his children. He is also financially responsible for his children (but not you personally) so I would also pursue a claim.

In a legal sense too I would be looking at the feasibility of obtaining both an occupation and non molestation order re him. Your children cannot afford to grow up seeing this crap and abusive example of a relationship as being their normal too. Do not stay with him until next September; he will merely drag you and your kids down even further by then.

I can’t leave the house if I do it won’t look good in the courts

Who told you that? Him?

He is abusing you, which means he is abusing your children. I'm not giving you tips on how to prolong your children's exposure to his abuse.

Women's Aid: 0808 2000 247
Freedom Programme: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk