Incredibly lonely

[naughty40me]

I feel so alone and it's eating away at me.

Held the tears back yesterday for the sake of my kids but now they've gone to their dads I'm sobbing.

I can't see a way forward from this feeling, it's been years and years now and I feel like it's me and my kids against the world and I have no support.

So so lonely

What have you been doing to make yourself feel less lonely?

Hi Naughty so sorry you are feeling like this. Some more people will be along with support. Loneliness is terrible, especially if you experience it with people around you. Are you on your own now? X

Couldn't leave without saying anything. Have you got family/friends to support you?
If not what about any hobbies?
I know the feeling of that loneliness. I split from my ex husband sometime ago and it's still pretty raw...I'm here if you ever need a chat x

Didn’t want to pass by without sending my love OP

How long since you split? Christmas can be a difficult time and leave people feeling alone

You may feel alone but you're not alone in the way you feel. Christmas is one of those seasons where we can feel extra alone. I have to say i have felt and feel very much like you(i do have a partner now) but for years it was me and my kids against the world , it still is in many ways and im always very aware we may en up completely by ourselves again (i dont fully trust anyone ). I work full time, have 2 kids and no real friends or family around. One thing ive realised reading MN is that theres so many of us out there in similar circumstances. I find day to day life easier as im so busy but sooner or later the feelin of needing to belong and be part of something else/have someone creeps in. I did hace therapy and started AD and it helped immensely. Ive learnt to derive hapiness from very mundane little things (did a lot of mindfulness and focusing on the present moment).
What are your circumstances op? Can you make time to explore new interests? Do you work?
We are here for you op. Feel free to reach out.

Pressed too soon. Sorry you’re feeling like this 💐

Thank you all for your kind words of support.

I'm sorry that so many others are or have felt the same. I know I'm not alone and I also keep reminding myself that there are so many people who are experiencing far more tragic circumstances and that I am really quite lucky.

I don't have any feelings for my exh, we are friendly enough and co-parent well. He has a new partner and new children and it's been 7 years since we divorced.

I had a LTR that broke down after the loss of a baby in 2014. Ever since I have been completely alone.

My father was abusive and my mum passed away 11 years ago.

The rest of my family are not close. I have many friends and people who care but I don't like to be a burden and now I'm 40 it's hard to just go out as everyone I know is married/coupled up and I'm just a spare part.

I've tried OLD and it's just a nightmare. I work part time as a lunchtime Supervisor which I really enjoy but even that can bring me to tears when everyone I work with has partners, families, mothers etc etc.

I feel like if i didn't have the kids I would take my own life. I honestly don't see who would miss me. But I do have them and I fight for them. I have had depression since my teenage years so I know some tricks and ways of coping.

Like today I just went to bed this afternoon, I know it sounds silly but it's a case of feeling safe. If I'm in bed then I'm protected and surviving...my body will still be here for the children and I pray and hope that my mind catches up.

I'm due to have some counselling soon so I hope that will help. I've had so much in the past though.

I just feel like I can't ever be happy or in love because I'm too needy. I push people away. And I know deep down it's because I don't have that "base"....I don't have that security of parents or family, I have little self esteem.

My children love me but I always think that they have no choice, of course they will love me because they don't know any different.

But no one CHOOSES to love me. They all seem to leave, and now I'm older and fatter and physically run down (awaiting tests for MS) I just don't see how I have any potential for a further relationship.

Then I'm back to thinking well I don't need one, I have my kids. But I would be lying if I said I didn't feel there was something missing.

Does any of that make sense?

Depression is so hard and I know I'm not alone; my heart goes out to anyone else feeling the same

*future not further

Next time you feel like going to bed to hide - don’t ! Go for a walk in your local park, I find dog walkers often pass with a cheery ‘Morning!’ ‘Hello!’ I lived in a remote location for a while and I have become more distance from family and friends but I found moving back and living in a community made me fell better as I had people around me. How about volunteering in a charity shop as a way to chat to people and be part of a group. Homeless charities welcome volunteers to help over Christmas- a friend did this when she was on her own and enjoyed her day.

Christmas is a very very difficult time of year for lots of us. I do feel for you, it highlights families and bonds and in many cases, we wish we had bonds and ties that were stronger.

I wish you all the best.
Keep strong fgor your children who I am sure adore you very much

Hi OP, I identify so much with what you've written. I understand the loneliness, the isolation, the not feeling good enough. I understand the feeling of being around 'happy' families, and though not begrudging them, just wanting to have what they have.

It is hard OP. I am older with adult DC, 18 months post relationship breakdown. I don't feel I have anyone to turn to either, and I can't see me ever having another relationship.

Your children love you and need you, but they also want you, despite what you think. Your low self esteem is telling you lies, terrible lies about what you are worthy of. I can tell you this much, you are worthy of everything other people have, and more.

Look after yourself OP, I'm here if you need a chat