Yesterday everything was good.

[FreshBread]

Yesterday, I went to see a friend of mine. She was really pleased to hear that, for the first time in the 8 years that she has known me, I am ending the year well and looking forward to entering the next.

I started a new relationship 6 weeks ago; a new job 4 weeks ago and my band is going well.

Everything felt really positive yesterday.

But today I feel that i need to walk away from all of it in order to protect myself. Well, not work - I'll stick at with my job but the desire to end this fledgling relationship is overwhelmingly strong. He sent me a christmas message late morning and I haven't been able to read it, let alone reply. I feel the need to walk away from my band and a huge desire to isolate myself.

Thank you, rvby!

That has been really helpful to read! I know I've just had some shocking experiences in the past - none of which I want to repeat ever again! But it's also been all I've ever known so it looking different leaves me feeling a bit on unsteady ground - like I'm unsure how to interpret or process things.

I think slow moving is definitely what I need but it just feels very unfamiliar that's all and I'm not sure how I'd read the difference between slow moving and "he's just not that into you". Which is how I've always interpreted in the past.

I just wanted to come back on to say thank you so much for the compassionate and considered replies to my post.

I've woken up this morning with a totally different mindset. I looked back through my diary and realised that I've seen him on around 13/14 occasions over the past 6 weeks with a few overnights. That's all! It's nothing!

That I've already met some of his friends, and he's talked about me meeting others, amongst all the other things is actually a really positive sign.

I've got a clearer perspective on it all now and feel so much better about it. He is lovely. It's my experiences that have led me to question it. And, actually, this is probably a really good pace to be moving at.

So thank you for your time and your wisdom

FreshBread you've had some really good advice on this thread and I'm glad to see it's sinking in. The one thing I would add is that it takes time for normal to start feeling natural and until then you are going to feel flat and anxious. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn to recognise that feeling and tell yourself that this is part of the recovery process for you.

You sound massively insightful and sensible.

@FreshBread I'm so glad you feel better. Keep taking it easy x