My H and me had rowed on Friday and I in anger had shouted for him to get out and leave me alone. He went to a friend's and I thought he would return. On Saturday I found his old phone as he had got a new one. Unfortunately he must not have known messages stay on the phone not the SIM card. What I found has thrown my world into a spin - he has basically spent since April on Tinder and Kik whilst we were working on our marriage. Well one of us was. There were messages from various women and men including one woman he was messaging whilst we were on holiday, including sending her a picture of the I love you heart he had written for me in the sand. There are pictures and videos of him which he has clearly sent to all and the same in return. Along with a full web history of trying to find rooms. He moved from his friends and spent the weekend in a Travelodge and yesterday has got himself a room. I spent yesterday being told basically this had all been my fault because he had spent all year feeling I was pushing him away. He then began to give me a character tearing down and I know our relationship was not great this year but this is not the first time he had cheated and yes I was struggling. However if his head was in a raft of hook up sites I can't see how he could have been trying. Yet instead of feeling angry and telling him to f off I am lost, scared, confused and feel discarded. Everything was about him and how he felt and not about how I felt. In fact when I asked him how he thought I felt he said probably pleased. Why do I feel like this? It's like I'm trying to fix this completely unfixable situation because I thought we were going in the same direction. Last week we were looking at new tiles for the bathroom. Christmas Eve and I'm reeling from being told it's all my fault. I don't know what to do or how to think or feel.