Do I love my best friend? (Married)

[ChocolateSnowflake]

I’m confused about how I feel about my male friend. We met at work a couple of years ago and are both in relationships. We got on really really well and decided to keep in touch after I left over a year ago. Since I left we have continued to chat a lot. We text a few times a week, speak every week or every other week.

I have various life stresses going on at the moment. My father and my sister are both very unwell; work is stressful; my relationship is very rocky. My friend has been my greatest support throughout everything. When I have bad news I want to tell him first. Same with good news.

But now I’m confused. Is it normal to have a friend of the opposite sex who makes you feel so happy, safe and secure? When I’m with him it’s like I’m the best possible version of myself. When I’m apart from him I miss him terribly. What is this? I know on paper it sounds very wrong, which is why I haven’t spoken to him about it. The ridiculous thing is that he is the person who I really want to talk to about it.

Do colleagues who were previously strangers become platonic best friends in mid life, when already in relationships?

I would love to know other people’s opinions.

Thanks

Well, yes, you can make new platonic best friends in later life. Gender is irrelevant largely. I met someone like this about 2 years ago and I was very surprised because I have never really had close male friends (am female). My mate generally makes me feel happy, safe and secure. As do my other mates. I think that's the key. Is it the same feeling you get from other friends? or is it qualitatively different/ more than this feeling?
I think it is easy to frame Male-female friendships (between hetero people) as almost... improper. Even if there is a bit of attraction on one or both sides it doesnt have to define things: you can still have a close friendship but you're going to have to choose to retain boundaries.