Diffcult decision

[Laylajaney]

My husband who im now separated from but not divorced from was happy for me to have a sexual affair with another man.The reason we are judicialy separated is because he had an affair which was stopped after i discovered it. He felt he was allowing me same as he d had.
Long story short -I have sort of fallen for this other man. I at least enjoy the sex and find him hard to give up.
When my ex found out another man was very interested he became quite possessive. He says things like "I cant tellyou not to see himbecause we are separated -but he is sulky anf difficult to live with -incidently we live together for financial reasons etc.-we are elderly too.
Other man keeps contacting me and says he misses me .He is 3 yrs younger we are all pensioners.

Bye the way the sex between my ex and myself was rekindelled because I felt so good about myself because of the attention etc.

What’s the decision?

To persure other man .

Sorry, to carry on with new man or give him up and be content with ex.

You are separated and your life is yours.
Why would you need to give up that other man?
You are either separated and both free to date, or you are married and working on your relationship.

Also - OP it seems like you are so used to your ex calling the shots and making decisions - that you think it’s normal.
It is not. You are a person and it’s YOUR decision what you do with your life.
He can be difficult all he wants. But he shouldn’t force you into making a decision you don’t have to make. And you shouldn’t feel the pressure to keep him happy and not grumpy.

Be with whichever man you want to be. One or both. Why not.

Whose idea was that separation and why is it so poorly defined. Surely you must have discussed round rules. Is your ex seeing anyone? What happened to his other woman - if he ha separated he can see her just as well ?

Thanks for your feed back .Im allowing myself to be controlled by my ex s moods.
Will try and see new man again -if he is willing to.

You are living with ex and having sex with him.
No wonder he thinks you are now even in having had affairs and wants to go back to how things were.

You should work out what you want then tell ex what that is.

New man may only want sex, not a relationship. That's fine if you are okay with it.

Even if you don't continue with new man, you don't have to fall in with ex's wishes.

Living with your husband and having sex with him.

I'm struggling to see where the separation is tbh.

When you really are separated, things won't seem so confusing and people's roles will be more clear.