Doesn't know what he wants anymore-meaning me

[lilyrayne]

Together 3 years didn't live together, both have children from previous relationships.
Things haven't been great for months, I've had anxiety for years which has been hard for him as he couldn't really be there for me or even bother to understand.
He has had a lot of stress from work, ex's etc.
Few months ago I found he was messaging a old work colleague arranging to meet up for a meal. Swore blind just friends blah blah no other evidence of anything else. I forgave him moved on. Not long after tho he started to pull away saying he was depressed and stressed etc and he isn't good for anyone etc I supported him been best I could be for him. Then after a while of pulling away , Asked if he still loved me says not sure. Now I've seen him once in a few weeks and after that one visit thought things were getting back on track and then he disappeared again then said he wanted to come over and talk a few nights ago and then calls me and says he can't it's work etc so I say I can't live this way anymore and he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore which I know means me. So the few things he had at mine are now back at his and he's blocked. The pain is unreal.
I believe it was someone else possibly, I am up at 3am as I can't sleep and I'm not eating Just on pissing Xmas eve. I feel heartbroken, truly thought he would never give up even when it got tough. What a joke, I just want to cry n hide but I can't for my children.

Anyone awake ?!

You will get through this, you are better off without him. He sounds like he was stringing you a long for a while. Enjoy time with your kids, meet up with friends, you are worth more than this loser.

Thankyou for your kind words. He did what I have found out is the the slow fade where they really want it to end but they don't want to be the bad guy so in the end you are forced to do it. What a coward. I have work in a few hours I've had 2 hours sleep I just feel like calling in 😖

Sorry op, sounds like he checked out a while ago but hasn't had the balls to end it, the cowardly shit 😠

Sending you love babe :( xxx

Imagine how much worse still holding on and wondering? At least you know.

Yes that's a positive. Horrible horrible nasty thing to do to another human being. I look at him now in my mind n photos etc as if I don't even know who you were. Il be ok, been through breakups before never get easier but hey at least it's bloody Christmas 🙄🤣🤣

Exactly what Jesus and Mary chain said
He has basically been trying to get you to end it .

There is no magic cure but time .
If you don’t go to work what will you do
Although exhausted try to keep putting one foot in front of the other time off is time to over think and increase your anxiety

Baby steps get through each hour ... try to keep to your routine a little, don’t look to the future right now as in your current frame of mind it’s not going to look good everything will twist to a negative ( your future will be fine and you will be happy again)

Just get through the morning and aim yo work until lunch you may find work a welcome distraction to allow your brain to rest from relationship thoughts

Big hugs op

Really good advice from @Newmumma83 - keeping on going even when you feel like you want the world to stop will help you Feel better in the long run.
After a difficult few weeks you will honestly come to realise that you are freer and happier without him. People like this, who won't take responsibility for their own feelings, don't make good partners - remember your only responsible for your own happiness, not his or his actions.
Focus on your kids - at least they give you some structure and continuity right now - and hold on until time does it's job.
Big hugs. Breakups are truly awful but it's always for the best in the long term xxx

Yes. Don't let him take your kids Christmas too.

The slow fade is a favourite of cowardly men. Remember, his behaviour isn't about you, it's about him.

Please go into work today, keeping to your normal routine will help. Have you got your DC all day on Xmas?

I am sorry. It was a cowardly thing to do. As other posters have said, he was waiting for you to end it. Has he blocked you on social media or on his phone?

This happened to me in my 20's - together four years. He became spiteful when he grew tired/bored of me. It was bloody hurtful and demeaning. My self esteem was in pieces as he kept me dangling. I eventually ended it and his eager was so bruised that he informed a mutual friend he 'got rid of me'. He was open mouthed when he heard I was engaged!

It will get better and you owe it to yourself to meet someone who will adore you

He keeps bloody contacting me ! Asking me if I mean what I said about me being done!

Tell him that you absolutely meant it.

*He was not supportive when you needed him.
*He was messaging another woman to meet up.
*He has disengaged and kept you dangling.
*After all your support, he is not sure if he loves you.
*He does not know what he wants.

You made the right decision to end things. He has treated you with great disregard.

The pain will be real but it’s grief for a loss it’s like a death. It takes time. All you will think about is the good stuff when in reality you need to see the bad and realiSe he isn’t a god to be worshipped. Take care of yourself

Shit time of year for this to happen.
It may not feel like it yet but life will be much better without him OP.
Look after yourself.