Hope ok to post, I would like a female perspective on this please. My wife and I have been married for 30 years. My sex drive is very high, and her's is very low. We can go a couple of months with out sex. I try to initiate or hint that it would be nice to make love, I am told I am putting her under pressure.
Earlier on this year, I found out she had got close to a Co worker, she is adamant they did not sleep together but there was kissing and a fumble (her discription) I also found some sexting, something she would never do with me. It knocked me for 6 and some. We are working through it and plan to stay together. We are also having counseling. In the lead up to this, our sex life went through the roof, at the time I was working away during the week, and when I came home at the weekend we would have sex 3 or 4 times, even doing things that she has refused to do in the past. All of a sudden it has dropped off again. I don't belive the 'affair' is still going on. My question is, although she has gone right off sex, I have discovered the she often uses her vibrator. Normally I have no problem with this, in fact we often uses it in sex. But the fact she is using it while refusing me sex has really upset me. I have not said anything to her yet. I have also started getting thoughts of 'so is she thinking of him while using it'. Am I over thinking this.