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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Moody husband

10 replies

shinnnypin44 · 23/12/2019 17:04

My husband is a pretty moody man most of the time, the whole house knows when he’s had a bad day at work etc and he takes offence at the slightest things, normally some perceived slight from one of our teenagers. He will go into a mood that lasts hours. This morning I had a feeling that a situation was coming however I had to go and finish my Christmas shopping. By the time I got back ww4 had broken out between him and one of the teenagers, who is admittedly lazy, over the amount of jobs he needs to do around the home and now the house is plunged into depression. Last Christmas one of the boys annoyed him and he sulked all Christmas Day, I have spoken to him about it but I can sense it’s going to go the same way this year. I just don’t know if I can be bothered with it anymore. I can’t live with his mood swings and the impact on all of is. My oldest is counting the days until he can go back to uni and my youngest is being affected by it. Don’t know what to do really. He is off for two weeks as am I, it’s going to be awful.

OP posts:

Interestedwoman · 23/12/2019 17:31

So sorry you're going through this. x This is no way to live. Leave, and have a more relaxing and happy life. It'll be better forr you and your DC, and the earlier you do it the less it will scar the youngest, and damage both of their relationships with you. xx

Techway · 23/12/2019 17:38

So you all walk in eggshells around him.

Does he ever take responsibility? Has his behaviour got worse in the years you have been together?

If he doesn't take responsibility for the sient treatment then he will never change and it is emotional abuse, designed to punish those who offend him.

It is a horrible way to live and can affect your mental and physical health so don't undermine the impact.

Ultimately you can only leave as it is very unlikely to change. Rarely do these types of smokers improve with age, in fact they get worse with age.

Iamthewombat · 23/12/2019 17:39

Look up ‘narcissistic husband’ and consider whether you have one.

I think that 80% of men turn into moody, whinging bastards as they get older. No way will they be swallowing down a bad mood and putting on a brave face for the sake of other people, like we do!

Can you paste on a smile for the Christmas period, just to stop things getting worse? Could you co-opt your kids? I know that it’s a shame to have to tread on eggshells around the whinging, self-pitying arse, but it might be your best option.

Then when the festive season is over, bite the bullet and tell him where his behaviour was unacceptable. He MIGHT take notice.

BlingLoving · 23/12/2019 17:42

DH was extremely moody for a a day or two this week. He apologised. B because he realised he was being a prat. Living like this is no life. If he can't control himself then what value is he bringing to family life?

TheHootiestChristmasOwl · 23/12/2019 17:47

Tell him to get the fuck over it or fuck off as he won’t be ruining Christmas for everyone. Stop treading on eggshells around him and get on with your day.

Techway · 23/12/2019 18:08

This morning I had a feeling that a situation was coming

This is why it is so destructive as you become watchful for the signs, ahead of time so never genuinely relax.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/12/2019 18:13

What are you getting out of this relationship now?. You must be getting something out of this otherwise why are you still there?. BTW staying for the sake of the children here is a really really bad idea.

I hope you do not ever try and jolly him out of his sulking aka emotional abuse of you all. Does he make you feel responsible for his sulk; the responsibility for his sulk is all his. I guess too he is not like this with people in the outside world either, just you people as his family.

You know what to do really; you need to plan to leave your moody emotional abuser of a husband and sooner rather than later. He is an abuser and joy sucker to and in your family.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here from you two?. All of them are noticing what he is like, in particular the eldest and youngest you cite in your post. Do you want to continue to do your bit here to show them that this from your H is still acceptable to you on some level?. Because that is what you have been doing.

MiniCooperLover · 23/12/2019 18:48

Why the fuck are you still together? Get out, your teens will thank you for getting them away from it.

DonPablo · 23/12/2019 18:51

Do you like being married to him?

category12 · 23/12/2019 18:52

Why not give yourself the Christmas present of a divorce by this time next year?

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