This really really hurts

[ouch321]

My ex boyfriend broke up with me in spring.
I loved him as much as I have ever loved anyone.
Over the past few months, I have been trying my best to reconcile and contacted him a couple of times.

A few days ago, he told me that he met another girl on a dating site a month or 6 weeks before ending it with me, he fell in love with her and they married in October.

I am devastated. I cannot eat or sleep; I cannot concentrate on my work. I can't stop crying and if I do manage to drop off for a few minutes I have this sick feeling in my stomach when I wake up and realise what has happened.

I have no idea how to get past it. This time last year I thought we had a future together and now I have nothing.

I'm so so scared for the future. I'm 36.5 years old so pretty much at that point where everyone is already settled.

Regrettably yes, he sent me a photo of them being married.

^^

So he's callous, a cheater and a hoodwinker?

he sent me a photo of them being married

What a C**T

Have a good cry. Get through Christmas and then do what SinglePringle suggested.

Make the New Year about looking after yourself.
Doing things for you.
Going to places you want to go to.

This guy wasn’t the right one for you and him leaving has left a vacancy for the right person to fill.

I always think that until you are free then the universe can’t send you what or who you need

Is he callous though? OP was getting in touch 'trying to reconcile' with a man who'd moved on - maybe he just wanted her to stop?

OP, you've had a tough time. But you need to pull up your Big Girl pants now. He's not for you. He never was, however good he made you feel at the time. Life doesn't have to be all about being in a couple and having babies, maybe your single friends envy you your ability to do things at the drop of a hat and get a good night's sleep?

You need some perspective. Maybe consider talking to someone, a counsellor or something, about how you feel. Continuing to carry a torch for this chancer isn't doing you any good at all.

It's horrible and there is no magic wand that can solve everything. But, I hope, at some point in the future you'll be able to look back and realise you dodged a bullet.

I was desperately in love with a boyfriend at university. He was flaky, didn't want to commit, but I truly loved him. He was American and I had a ticket to fly out to spend New Year with him. A couple of hours before I was due to get on the plane, he called me to say he'd met someone else, that I couldn't stay with him, but if I wanted to go find a hotel, we could do some sight-seeing. Unsurprisingly, I didn't go, but spent then next four or so years still heartbroken.

A few years ago, out of idle curiosity, I looked him up on LinkedIn and sent him a brief message. What I got back was so sad - he is now utterly psychotic, schizophrenic, having taken way too many drugs over the years. He's never had a career (despite being absolutely a brilliant biochemist), never done anything, just drifting around with his wife (also a drug addict I think). He's puffed up, gained weight and dropped out of life. And all I think now is thank god I never ended up with him!

So, whilst there is no obvious reason now, and all you can do is hope that time will heal, perhaps one day you can look back and discover that you've had a truly lucky escape.