Social media

[velvetnose]

Why would DH secretly sign up to Instagram when he has never bothered with social media before? He is 43 if that's relevant

Does he have any hobbies? IG is one of the biggest platforms in the world - it could be for so many reasons

He has quite a few hobbies. Golf mainly and has started going to the gym recently. He is not following any sporting profiles, just "real" people. Only 20 odd.

Is there such a thing as “secretly” signing up to Instagram? It’s hardly a clandestine or seedy website. Why would he need to tell you about it? Do you tell each other everything you do online?

Perhaps he was talking to a friend or colleague about something and they said “hey, I went to this place / did this thing / follow this person who does cool shit - I put all my photos on Instagram, join up and follow me to see them.”

Or, since so many apps and websites are connected nowadays, it’s also likely he got the standard email notification saying “your friend Dave is on Instagram - follow this link now to sign up and see what he posts” and did so out of curiosity.

Ask him. Of all the websites one could join online I’d put Instagram among the most harmless and innocent, tbh.

Why do you feel he has done it secretly? Does he normally tell you everything he does online? Is he following anyone he knows in real life?

It's just not like him, he has always been very anti social media and has apparently now signed up to Instagram and hasn't thought to mention it to me. It has been two weeks since he posted his first picture.

I recognise most of the people he is following as friends and a few people that I don't recognise but their profiles are all set to private when I have looked. I am not on Instagram myself, my sister told me that his profile appeared on hers somehow.

I just think it is weird.

Have you asked him about it?

Not yet, he's at work.

If it’s any help, just remembered that I have an Instagram account - years ago I was in a coffee shop and they had a competition where you had to post a picture on their IG with the special background in the shop and you could win a prize. My son wanted to enter so I opened an account. I don’t think I’ve used it since.
I hope you can get an answer from him later

He has posted three pictures in the last two weeks that are of just himself on nights out not even new pictures

I asked him and he just said "he fancied giving it a try" now he's deleted the app in a huff

Pictures of himself on nights out? Started going to gym recently? Did you see if the locked accounts were female? I'm a cynical old bat!

Not sure why you say "secretly" signed up to it. It isn't something you would particularly make an announcement about.
Presumably he was talking with some people, showed a bit of interest and they helped him set it up.
Didn't think it was interesting enough to warrant a mention.
Not sure why you think it is so weird.
If you don't sign up, you can't really find out about it - it's not like TV where you can look at a programme before deciding if you are going to enjoy it or not - you have to sign up to 'have a go' to see if you like it.

I’ve signed up to IG recently
If dh starting quizzing me about it I wouldn’t be impressed.

Deleting the app won’t have closed his account.

Opening an IG account and you policing that is Ridiculous.

HOWEVER, he is a golfer!!! That changes everything.

AND JOINED A GYM RECENTLY!!!

Clearly an affair.

As a 40 something I gave IG a go because of my DS and DSDS. I'm sure he was just interested. Dont think too much of it, or join yourself!

Is anything else causing you to worry? This event in isolation doesn’t seem too bad, so I’m wondering if there is more going on in your mind.

If it's totally out of character AND not mentioned to me, I would be suspicious

What caused the huff? Do you think he is guilty of something or does he feel you are spying on him?

There are many red flags I your post.

Golf
Gym
IG

You are absolutely right to be suspicious.

Why is golf a red flag?

He has always been anti social media which is why I find it strange

Also there have been some threads recently where someone's OH was liking and commenting on women's photos and another where he was looking at coworkers in their underwear. Both of which things I wouldn't like my DH to be doing

Just think it's asking for trouble unnecessarily

It’s only asking for trouble if you’re looking for trouble. There must be more to this than what you’ve posted because if there isn’t, you’ve got control issues.

I’m not pro social media but I have signed up because sometimes it’s easier than swimming against the tide in some situations but I’m not active. I would hate to be Policed or felt that I needed to divulge every god damn thing I do to my partner.