Support thread for those of us who know we are going to have a shit Christmas

[BookWitch]

Just thought I'd start a safe space for us have a chat over the next few days. No pressure to LTB juta place to vent and chat.

DH is depressed, autistic and self medicates through alcohol. There is not a drop in the house, so me and adult DDs are having a completely dry Xmas, he still goes to the pub and drinks 3-4 pints a day, so it isn't TOO bad on that front. He is bloody grumpy, critical and argumentative though. He is only here until mid-Jan, then goes back working overseas.

He has NOTHING to help with shopping, I'm 99% sure he hasn't bought me a present. He will probably start asking at lunchtime on Xmas eve whether we have XYZ. I will not be going out shopping again though.
I have my adult DDs here, and my mum is coming Xmas day, and they all know what he is like, so I am doing no pretending and excuses for him like I used to.

I'll be around over next few days if anyone wants to chat

When I say not TOO bad re the drinking, I mean it is less than it was, and he is drinking no spirits. I know it is still WAY too much.

Hopefully you and DDs can still enjoy Christmas bookwitch or could you plan something for Jan. I cant say I'm feeling particularly festive - toddler DD is poorly and was in hospital yesterday, up last night. Dh has done fuck all but text saying he 'didnt feel 100% either'. The sudden changing of arrangements for DSS and flapping from MIL have already begun and I'm fully expecting to spend xmas day with a still poorly toddler and DB (who has now kids) giving unsolicited parenting advice of how his hypothetical DC would never watch screens or each junk food. I'm feeling like xmas can just do one and I'll sleep for the 10 days I'm off instead. Then I'll be called miserable!

Is there a reason why you can't ask him not to come back after the next overseas work stint?

Nope, no reason.
I'll be telling him he won't be welcome next time if he continues to be such an arse.
I'm very self-sufficient and definitely emotionally single (ie I know I can't rely on him), but this time of year seeing all the perfect families on TV and SM gets to me a bit.
I'm not ready to completely LTB because he does have some good qualities when he is well, but OMG he can be a grumpy fucker