Splitting up legal house questions

[MAHTwenty4]

Hello everyone .... happy almost Xmas and all that. I have some questions and I don't quite know what to do to be legal and get this shit done. My partner of almost 6 years is a control freak, narcissist - victim blaming, combat stress, pain in the arse. Had a really shit couple of year, tried to end it last year and he persuaded me to try again and he has weekly counselling. He never discusses it with me and his behaviour is not much better - he has ripped a door off, smashed the hoover, regular slams doors, and done damage in the garden - just for starters. He is 6ft 3 and I am 5ft 2, he's intimidating and scares me at times. I've told him how I feel yesterday and that I want him to go, he has been made redundant recently but has pay until April and he's on good money plus his forces pension. He's pretending like we can fix this and please give him 3 more months, I want him to go - but I need to give him reasonable notice? He pays his share of bills each month into my bank account but not towards the mortgage - that's mine, in my name bought the house before I met him etc. He's done loads around the house, he's super at DIY and paid for some bits like tiling when I had the kitchen extended 2 years ago with money my dad left me. We don't have sex, we barely touch each other and eat in different rooms. I just want him to go but with the least fuss and recourse to things like the police, make it water tight and get him gone. I live in Buckinghamshire so am under UK not Scottish law on this, any ideas? Thank you all so much, M x

If he isn't on the title deeds to the house, then you don't have to give him any notice to leave but if he is violent he is unlikely to go quietly so you will need some help to move him out. Family members, friends or the police? Then change the locks.

Be prepared for a claim on the house for things that he has done. Is there any written agreement that the money he gives you isn't towards the mortgage. It might be a good idea to get a solicitor to advise you so that you can be ready to defend.

Legally he could have a claim on the house because he did work there, and contributed financially...but it would cost him legal fees to file that claim against you. You should check your home insurance policy as many have an option to add legal claims against the occupier. It is not expensive to add that type of cover, before a situation has occurred requiring it.

Since you are not married, he has no automatic right over your property if it is in your name, and the mortgage is solely in your name. Do not give him money to leave the property. Ask him to leave and give him a few weeks notice in writing. Keep the written evidence of that request so copy a letter, keep a text etc. If he does not leave by the set date, change the locks and do not let him return without police escort. If he threatens you, get the police involved as they can secure an injunction to stop him coming near you. I would get the police involved in your situation as it would be easier to prove that onward claims against the property are malicious and linked to the abusive relationship. I wouldn't worry too much about him making a claim as it is very expensive to have court proceedings for property matters. Just get him out.

OP, under English law your bf is an "excluded occupier" and has a right to 'reasonable notice'.

What is reasonable will depend on the circumstances: if the door ripping etc was recent, I think you are looking at a 'reasonable' period of a few days. If that was historic, and he is peaceful at the moment, then perhaps a week or two. That might all be academic though, because if you got to a point where you were determining what notice was reasonable, he has taken you to court for an illegal eviction, which is unlikely.

Give him a letter telling him you want him out in 2 weeks, then arrange for a locksmith to change the locks when you know he's out. If he calls the police, you can show them a copy of the letter.

OP I don't have any legal help, but I just wanted to say Congratulations for making this decision, as such a very difficult time of the year... so many people feel trapped by circumstance but you are seeking solid practical advice..

Good luck OP

Thank you all - he's trying to say he didn't realise things were this bad but that is total bollocks as we've been here before and had the same concerns she can be nasty and vindictive. He's doing this just to stay and have a cheap option. I should have done this ages ago but stalled because he has lost his job and felt sorry for him. He also has MH issues and am fearful of his behaviour and that this could be a tipping point. I feel like a weight on my chest when he is here it's horrible and no way does that make me feel we even have a slight chance of coming back from this. I hurt all over from the stress of this.... I'm joining a convent I think for the P&Q! M x

Stick to your guns OP..

Giving him 'notice' is bollocks. Even if this is the law, how is he actually going to enforce it? If you are forced to literally kick him out and change the locks, I'd love to see how you could be prosecuted for this.
Give him the easy option and give him a reasonable time to leave. If he refuses, then just change the locks when he is out.

An update.... he's all packed up and moving out this weekend and if he posses on the floor in e bathroom one more time I will wipe my bum
With his shoes. Honestly he's being so obnoxious and he wonders why I never want to see his face again. But thanks for your words of support and indignation!